Patience's Guest Book
Thank you for visiting Patience Press. All my newsletters are in print and can be ordered with a credit card on this website. There is also a printable order form which can be downloaded and sent in with a check or money order. You can email patiencepress@alltell.com for information on overseas shipping or any other information about ordering. Patience

We would love it if you would Add to this guestbook we are keeping!


I wrote tis long comment and somehow its gone basically Thank-you for saving my life tonight!!!! I was going to blow my head off tonight and i thought that there would be something to keep me around Then by accicent there was your website!! I now knowthat the past 29 years of felling this way was not my fault! Thank-you You saved a U.S. Marine Today!!!!!!
Dennis Seeley
West Haven, CT USA - Friday, April 11, 2003 at 06:31:16 (EDT)

Patience Now that so many new cases of PTSD are being produced and so many of us are being retraumatized, have you considered reissuing your newsletters? They were very helpful in the past, and would be a good resource for new cases of PTSD. Katherine
Katherine
Albuquerque, NM USA - Wednesday, April 02, 2003 at 18:29:20 (EST)
Hello, I was dx with Ptsd, a few years ago, after a t-45 crash on deck, since then life seems, such a blurr until recently, I'm currently going to college in Tucson and my family lives in Yuma which happens to be a Marine Base here in town. I'm currently doing a research paper on PTsd and you have been helpful then some of the doc's they just want to poke around and not explain to why you feel this or that why. I only had one dr that did which made sense. Now,I have you and my Psychology class to thank you for helping understand and slowly get back to life. thank bev
Bev
Tucson&Yuma, az USA - Saturday, March 22, 2003 at 12:04:28 (EST)
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I totally agree with Brenda a few posts down. This site is for information and healing due to PTSD. Now there are PORN sites added to this advertising crap...PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! You are being completely disrespectful to Patience Mason who has worked extremely hard to help us wives and our Vets!
Sgtwife
FL USA - Friday, March 21, 2003 at 00:25:51 (EST)

Now that my parents have passed away, I am researching and working on a book of my life. A lot of the book will deal with having PTSD, steming majorily from having had helped my father work on our family business. melting down wrecked and obsolete aircraft into aluminum ingots. My father started to take me to the crashes at age 4, by 7 I was working on helping to salvage a major commercial airliner where 85 people died, and the list goes on. I was also molested starting at age 3, by a man who is now on San Quetin Death Row, who remains, "the son my father never had." I have been told that I am a "miracle"-- many people can't believe that I am still alive, and others, sadly, haven't even believed me. But I am hoping that sticking to the Truth, and writing the best book I can, I can heal further, as well as may be help to heal others. I am convinced that PTSD cannot be healed solo. So, please wish me luck on my journey. I am currently on SSD, and also suffer from a rare illness- Periodic Paralysis. That in itself is a nightmare, and I am now waiting for donations so I can see 1 of the 3 specialists in the US that can properly diagnose and treat me. It is truly amazing as to how we end up where we are-- a throw of the dice, I am sure. This has all caused me to have a deeper spirituality, because that is the greatest richess I have. Thanks so much Patience for allowing this Guestbook to happen. I'll check back time to time, and anyone can e-mail me. Connie

The first I ever heard of PTSD was from my friend Sal, he is a vet who helps a lot of people especially people who end up in the penal system as a direct or indirect result of PTSD. I learned from my doctor that I too have suffered trauma and exhibit symptoms of PTSD. I also think my husband has PTSD as a result of the brutal beatings he endured as a child and a violent hate crime against him in 1993. Which he never pursued legally for fear of being killed. Now my husband has been charged with violent resisting arrest charges which he says he never did fight he only ran and was pulled down and got the crap beat out of him by 5 officers. I think he is definitely a candidate for PTSD and I want to help him stay out of prison as much as possible, because it will probably traumatize him further. We are beginning to build his case for the resisting arrest charges for which I am told he will definitely serve time for it’s just a matter of what sentence. He has expressed to me that he wants help and I want to help him. I believe all he wants to do is stop running in life and feel safe. I don't believe he has ever felt safe in his life. How does an inmate at the county jail get to be psychologically assessed? I need answers to help him get the help he needs. We have two beautiful sons 11 & 12 and they need him more than anything. I feel it is so unjust that he is in jail. I don't even know why they were arresting him in the first place that he resisted! I hope I haven't been overly disclosing, but I am tired of being in court today, the first of many to come, and I wanted to identify with someone after feeling so alone all day waiting to see him at his preliminary hearing which was calendared to give time to build the case. Well I guess I've done my share of "signing in". Thank you for taking a stand Patience and everyone else who comes into the light. I feel as though I have found some support and look forward to reading more. I have many questions about treatment and legal rights, I am so grateful to find this site. Thank you. Alicia Mae of California
Alicia Mae
CA USA - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 at 21:20:45 (EST)
I signed once, but it never showed up. I hope both don't show up later. I'm a Nam Vet., I sterted reading some of the entries and had to stop. I cry, I cry all the time. For 32yrs I,v lived with the NAM. It is with me 24/7. I was diagnosed with PTSD Guilt Disorder in 1985, when the 10th aniv. of the fall of Siagon was all over the news and papers. I had a breakdown that day. My wife found me help thru a Vet. Organization. They took me to the Vietnam Vet. Outreach Program. I spet a little over a year there. I was getting much better, and then started regressing and had to stop going. I do know PTSD is real, I live with it every day. I feel as though I deserve the pain I live with. My life revolves around the Nam. From the shirts with all the Nam logos to the awards and plaques hanging on my walls. I do have a good life, I have a wonderful wife this time (4 others), my own Hardwood flooring co. It's just that I can't outlive the memories of VIETNAM. I died in the Nam, and I'v died a thousand times since then. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm tiered of living in the past. It is with me when I go to sleep, and it's thier when I wake up. It has cost me 4 Wives, who could"nt deal with it, and countless friends who always say "Put it behind you". If it were only that easy, thier would be not PTSD. I have'nt been to the VA because all I hear is how they put you off, and how long it takes to get help. Well thanks for letting me vent some things, great site and hope every one finds peace. Walter, 82nd ABN Div, 45th Surg. Hosp., Vietnam 69-70
Walter Hickox
Atlanta, , Ga USA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 at 13:36:25 (EST)

Came across your site while surfing the net. Unfortunately, too late for me -- my husband, a Viet Nam vet, took his own life as a result of PTSD. It's a very frightening illness, and sometimes, even if you try and get assistance, (even in-patient), you can't force anyone to accept help. Lots of good information, though.
andrea6
NY USA - Thursday, February 20, 2003 at 20:34:53 (EST)

I sort of knew that my husband had PTSD all along, but allowed him to bury it, not talk about it, and deny that it affected our family. September 11 changed all that. He has been in such distress for the past year and a half that we have finally sought help. God bless anyone working with Vietnam Vets and thank you for not forgetting that not all vets have histories of drug and alcohol abuse. In a way I am thankful that his problem surfaced now while he is young enough and has enough fammily support to deal with it. We need to remember those who fought in WWII and Korea and may not have caring people around them to know what they are going through when every news broadcast starts with a war story. Health care professionals and especially nurses like myself need much more training to be able to recognize and help set a therapuetic environment for those with PTSD. LaVerna VanDan, RN, MSN Wife of a 1st Cav Vietnam Vet grunt.
LaVerna VanDan Valparaiso, IN USA - Wednesday, February 12, 2003 at 17:38:43 (EST)

Just discovered this website and it is excellent. I want to thank you Patience for your book "Recovering From The War". I discovered it by chance at our city library about 8 years ago when someone first told my husband that he had PTSD. I didn't know what PTSD was, so I went in search of information. Your book is now my bible! It really helped me to start to comprehend what was going on. Since I was never in Nam, I will never be able to fully understand what our guys went through, but, thanks to you, I have compassion for each and every one of them. It really help me to realize that I didn't cause this, therefore I can't cure it and that I can't take the anxiety attacks, the rage outbreaks, the emotional numbing, etc., personally. In the early years of our marriage, when my husband would go into a rage, I would get angry and fly right back in his face. Well, you know where that gets you! Since reading your book, I started just walking away when he went into a rage----as a result, things have been a little smoother. Life with a Nam vet is never a bed of roses, but trying to learn about what it was like for our guys in Nam really does help! Keep up the good work Patience. I know there are a lot of other 'Nam Wives' out there that can use your help. Thank you SO MUCH!
Trish
Sierra Vista, AZ USA - Saturday, February 08, 2003 at 15:46:25 (EST)
I just discovered your site tonight, and already I feel some of the burden being lifted. My fiance is suffering from PTSD and is still in the military. we are a young couple and have gone through so much already because of this illness. He has pushed me away emotionally, gone through rage, flashbacks, you name it. It's emotionally draining for both of us. I miss the old him. Just knowing that there are others our there that know what we are going through is so comforting. Patience, you were my angel tonight. Thank you.
tinylion
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 00:54:55 (EST)

Once again I visited this web-site just to read the most recent comments from other people. I just want to thank you once again for this web-site, which has helped me a great deal to cope with the stituation that I was a couple of years ago. My husband, also a Nam Vet, diagnosed with severe PTSD, with a 100% service connected rating has been able to control this terrible affliction that he has to deal with for the rest of his life. I must say that life isn't always a bed of roses with him but I just want to let other wives of vets with PTSD know that there is hope. I think that a lot of my husbands ability to be able to keep it under control is because of my patience and the support that I have given him all these years, although it has been a hell of a rough road for me. I firmly believe, though, that my strength has come from believing that things will get better and that one day my prayers will be answered. Although I try to have a positive outlook on our lives, I try to prepare myself for the worse. The best thing that I can do is to live one day at a time, although sometimes I can't help but think of what will happen tomorrow. By the way, since I discovered this site a couple of years ago, I found a wonderful person whom I have kept in contact with for the past two years. Her husband also suffers from PTSD and whenever we need support or comfort when things get rough for either one of us, we're there for each other. Thank God for this site! To all the wives and families who has a combat veteran in their live who suffer from PTSD, I wish you all the luck and my prayers are with you!
NH
Ewa Beach, HI USA - Tuesday, January 07, 2003 at 01:55:42 (EST)
It has been an inspriation to see what you have achieved since you started. I am also a wife that lives with a PTSD suffer for over 27 years. I have started a group with my husband who is now a Trauma Specialist and he works to help other suffers. We have started a Charity called the Family Trauma Group or FTG to train families how to cope with the suffer and all their problems that affect all of the family. We also work with children who are traumatised by domestic violence and also RTAs. Go and see our web site at familytraumagroup.co.uk we also offer training to other Charities and organisations so as to raise money to treat families who have low or no income.We give free information out to the families and we have given out your writings to help families learn about the range of problems that can effect them when PTSD comes into the family. Our volunteers are given free training to a very high standard and are also given free qualified professional supervision. We are just in the process of setting up the first drop in centre for PTSD in England. The information that you have written about running a trauma group will be used in that centre. We are awaiting the news of a large grant from the National Lottery Board to assist us to open other centres across the UK Thanks again for your inspiration and good luck to you in the future. Hapy new year for 2003
Valerie Roberts < info@familytraumagroup.co.uk >
Wigan UK, United Kingdom - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 08:11:54 (EST)
Patience, I don't know if you remember me. I spoke with you two years ago while doing my graduate internship at the Santa Fe, NM Vet Center. I bought your book "Recovering From the War" and have been passing it's info onto every vet and family that I come in contact with. The Vet Center uses youir book and the PTSD Gazette. Now I'm a mental health social worker here at Big Spring, Texas VAMC and we use the book here as well. It's been amazing how many vets I have met who have already read your book and how much it has helped them and their families. God definitely had your path prepared for you and you have traveled it well. May you and your family with everyone else have a Very happy and Very Peaceful New Year. God Bless all vets and their families.

Big Spring, TX USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 22:40:53 (EST)
Our Dear Patience...All of us at "Aftermath of War" PTSD wives group want to thank you for all you have done for us. Your wisdom has and continues to carry us everyday. We just wanted you to know how much you mean to us and how appreciated you are. We hope all is going well with you and wish the best for a nice holiday season with your family...(((Hugs)))
Terri Black
Boynton Beach, Fl USA - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 16:20:18 (EST)
My partner is suffering from PTSD after having been raped and tortured nearly 18 years ago. It is very taxing on our 3 yr relationship. Before I read the issue 2, I thought I wanted to leave because her chances of changing, especially with regard to intimacy, feel very slim. I realize there's a lot of work I could do that I am not focusing on. Thank you for such a terrific resource as there are so few real resources about such serious relationship issues.
Lou
CA USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 03:31:00 (EST)
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I just wanted to say thank you for reaching out to educate the families of veterans with PTSD. It is incredibly hard to watch my Dad go through the steps of dealing with it, but I am thankful that I can be here and support him. He is my Hero, and bless you for helping me to begin to understand all that he went through. Thank you, again, for helping me to help him.
Debra Doran
Madera, CA United States - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 04:08:42 (EST)

Thanks for all you continue to help wives of veterans be more understanding....
Gray Komich
Alexandria, VA USA - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 15:41:08 (EST)

Great site thank you very much. Vietnam Veterans of America has a great site for PTSD also... http://www.vva.org/Benefits/ptsd.htm More help here... http://www.freeportland.com
BillS
Portland, OR USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 18:56:53 (EST)
"Recovering from the War" is by far the best book for women. The first chapters explain just what our men went thru and it was this understanding that made everything else fall in place for me. I also read "Chickhawk" recently and that has helped me understand & appreciate Patience's book even more!!
Lydia
USA - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 14:10:37 (EST)
Vietnam Wives/Living With PTSD is an online support group on msn.com for women who love vets suffering from PTSD. We have a wonderful Message Board and real-time chats five times every week! Lots of helpful information & links here to help the forgotten warriors--the Vietnam Wives! Lydiane@aol.com
Lydia
Tucson, AZ USA - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 14:02:17 (EST)
`PTSD` I'm happy and sad Compassionate and bad Can't sleep at night Can't do anything right I wanna be alone But not on my own I'm in love but I hate I'm a burden on the state I'm possesed by the war I killed what for? I see shrinks I see doc's Remember my arctic socks I'm disloyal cause I'm ill Is it right to kill I can hide in a crowd My face a grey shroud I cry for no reason My country shouts treason All the pills and the booze Make bad memories ooze I was 19 in June Under a bright crystal moon I died that day But I'm still here to say For the brave and the free My award PTSD. © Tony McNally http://britains-smallwars.com
Barrow, Cumbria UK. - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 06:39:15 (EST)
Thanks Chris for sharing your poem with the world.This guestbook is a wonderful venue to share. Maybe some people who want to us it as an advertisment for their services could contact Patience and maybe advertise in the Gazette. This would leave more space for those who need to talk of feelings and problems. Keep up the good work!
Terri Boynton Beach, FL USA - Friday, October 25, 2002 at 03:04:05 (EDT)
The Aftermath of War We found a wounded veteran, And held him in our heart, We've seen the bravest soldier, Break down and fall apart. Yet we love our hero's, Like no other has before, We're the wives of combat veterans, In the Aftermath of War. We had to learn the hard way, When coping with PTSD, That their war is never over, And freedom is never free. We bandage up their broken hearts, The best we can each day, We see the scars upon their souls, That never go away. Knowing we can't heal the wounds, That cut their very core, We're just trudging through the trenches, In the Aftermath of War. We've seen them lose their faith in God, And in the human race, As they try to hide the anguish, That's still written on their face. We've witnessed all the symptoms, That they're not willing to admit, We've dodged the screaming bullets, And been crawling in the shit. We've felt the anger, guilt, and blame, Of these men that we adore, As we stumble on the battlefield, In the Aftermath of War. Each day we share the horrors, Of a pain they can't forget, And we feel we've lived through combat, Because we love a vet. But we are all survivors, And we're learning how to cope, Hanging on with all our might, Just holding on to hope. And our soldier's heart will cry out, That they couldn't love us more, Because we're sitting in their foxhole, In the Aftermath of War. Chris Woolnough groups.msn.com/AftermathofwarcopingwithPTSD
chris woolnough
USA - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 05:42:43 (EDT)
Thank you for having this guest book open to the rest of the people. Just want to ask all people to pray for Peace. I have this Poem that I would like each one of you to read: BE A PEACE-LOVER. Be a Peace-Lover, So that the times of wars can be over. Let us live in harmony, And not live in agony. Why violence and killings everyday? And just have Peace today. Let us stop killing each other, So that we can enjoy Peace together. Let there be Peace in the world, Before this generation gets old. Let us celebrate and rejoice, Then we can speak the same voice. Let there be Peace to all creatures, Though we are people of different cultures. Let there be Peace for all races, Though we have unsolved Peace cases. Peace is possoble, Wars are avoidable. Let us love our neighbors, Because they are going to be our Saviors. By Lloyd Mungadze
Lloyd Mungadze
Marshall, TX USA - Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 02:38:15 (EDT)
I served on the peacekeeping mission in Rwanda in 1994/95. Never been the same after coming back. I became suicidal in 1995 and was misdiagnosed. In 1997 was diagnosed but not offered treatment. I returned for help in 1999 and have been in therapy since and have been doing better. I have now started a nation wide peer support network for soldiers who suffer the effects of Operational Stress Injuries and their families. I read some of your books and find them down to earth and practical. Same applies to your articles. I wonder if you would allow me to reproduce some of your articles for direct distribution in Canada to our growing network membership. I would of course give you credit for the articles and would encourage people to read your books. Please contact me and I can provide you more info on my project. Your stuff is great and I see no reason to try and re-invent what you have already created. Thanks
Stephane Grenier
Ottawa, On Canada - Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 17:42:01 (EDT)
It is ironic that my first visit to your site coincides with your announcement to end the PTG. I have just completed a 3 month PTSD treatment at the VA, and am eager for any and all info about my "condition". Knowing that I am not alone or crazy is one of the most helpful concepts for me. Thank you for your work. John B - a Vietnam Combat vet.
John B. Boyd
Hopkins, MN USA - Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 09:48:51 (EDT)
Hi, I just discovered your site and am really pleased with the content. I suffered from 4 traumatic events and have made great progress with my therapist who diagnosed me 6 months ago. Now on Paxil, I no longer have flashbacks but am working on reducing the anxiety caused by my triggers. Oh yeah, I am a recovering Allcoholic in AA (14 years) and a recovering codependant. The thing I fiond most rewarding is helping dual-diagnosed people in DRA (Dual Recovery Anonymous). I am in the process of putting together a 12-step support group for those with PTSD. If you are curious, email me and let me know. Thanks again Patience!
Bill Weiler San Jose, CA USA - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 05:56:48 (EDT)
I run a support group for the loved ones of those sufering from ptsd.Aftermath of war coping with ptsd. This is a safe place for the loved ones of those suffering from ptsd.The wives,daughters and mothers of war veterans come together to share information, support, and friendship.In the aftermath of war,may we find peace in understanding this disorder. groups.msn.com/AftermathofwarcopingwithPTSD
chris
USA - Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 06:58:55 (EDT)
Hi folks: For the ones who have been just recently aware that they do have PTS - you could not have found a better place for information. Patience is very very straight with the information in her newsletters and reading them should help. ******I have had PTS since I was 20? or even younger. I am now 57. Only about 5 years ago was I diagnosed with PTSD - it has been a life of hell living with something that I didn't know what it was - and lived in shame because nothing helped me. It has devastated my life - really it has. So the younger you are and the sooner you know what PTS is hopefully you can circumvent a life that is pure hell. ****** I have found for myself that therapists exploit me, talk down to me, and are more of a "trigger" than a help. Peer counseling helped - someone who has PTS can relate and really help. I had to almost isolate myself and only people that I trust to be safe could be around me. It took over one year just to stop the anxiety once I got out of the last situation that was abusive and triggering me. I respect what triggers me and I do not invite triggers into my home or private life. I keep myself as safe as possible - otherwise I can't function. Sleep - got to have sleep but the insomnia comes and goes. I have tried essential oils - can be very powerful and helps with sleep. Now the depression - I am close to trying medication, the depression over a life of emptiness is not good 0**** I give myself permission to rest as much as I need, Keep my life as simple as possible and for me it is vital that I stay away from toxic people. Today I heard the definition of toxic people - they deminish you, undermine you, and do not have a vision of all we can be, they tear down our self-worth. I stay away from these people. Manipulators, liars, shallow, ridiculers and those that don't have respect for my deep concerns. I also came to the realization, that unless my children take it upon themselves to educate themselves about PTS we are hopelessly locked into "judging" and unable to have meaningful communication, or resolve any past experiences. They judge me harshly, never come to visit and I am rarely invited for holidays. Adding this to PTS just gives me this horrible futile feeling about life itself and that I will never make any headway. They have a choice to get informed and I have made a choice to not discuss "what is wrong with me and how they view me" until they educate themselves about PTS. I know that they have been effected - but I cannot undo the past, I can only lead them in the right direction, the rest is up to them. I can only change me one day at a time. **** My belief is that we are made in the image of God and He never designed the human to tolerate the horrors and PTS is the indication that we are made in God's image. We are made for love, joy, peace and thrive with justice and mercy. We were not designed to experience the artocities of life without great cost to our spirit. I rely on God alot. Have to.
Claudine Escoffon
USA - Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 02:56:40 (EDT)
There is a lot of misconceptions about PTSD, it's treatment and the process Vet's endure to process their claims. It has been my personal experience the toughest battle I have had to wage has been with my family and friends and their lack of knowledge concerning the subject. They must understand the best way to help a Vet with PTSD is not to lash out at what they feel unjust but rather to learn...... educate themselves about PTSD. Hospitalization is sometimes required and long-term counseling along with medication is almost certain. Loved ones at best can offer their love and support without judgement as our claims are processed through the system. Due to the backlog of erroneous claims and the labyrinth of paperwork being so extensive it can take years to process a claim. The average Vet without unconditional love, help and support of family, friends and a competent Veteran's Organization is unable to proceed. It is my opinion, the system does't fail us people often do.....
Dale Wales
USA - Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 00:05:52 (EDT)
Hi Patience Thank you once again for your support when needed. Bill is doing really well, he's got a good job and is looking after himself well. Things are looking up for us... keep up the great work Much Love Bev
Bev McDowall
Bishopton, Scotland - Friday, September 27, 2002 at 11:26:34 (EDT)

Yakima, WA USA - Monday, September 23, 2002 at 19:11:51 (EDT)
I just want to add my thanks for this website. I am finding lots of good information to share with my employer and co-workers. I finally had the courage to tell them that I have PTSD. As it turns out, so do some of my co-workers. I also want to share with the group about the benefits of regression therapy and energy work to help the healing process. It has helped me far beyond what cognitive therapy was able to do. Not everyone is willing to regress, but I was desperate to find some answers. The work that began with my regression therapist has transformed my life. I now help others through the same process. FYI: Not all regression therapists are alike. It is important to work with someone that you feel "safe" with. Thank you again. I did not see anything about regression in the information and thought I would share a little bit about it. Blessings, Carole
Carole
FL USA - Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 00:42:43 (EDT)
I read your excerpt on the effects of PTSD on the family. Very good. I have b been doing my best to do for me because of the Nam Vet I live with. It is true that violence and rage can be part of the problem. But I have found by not playing into it I can diffuse the situation. Thanks!!
Diana Ace
Mesa, AZ USA - Monday, August 12, 2002 at 12:56:34 (EDT)
In l965 I was assaulted by six drink military men at CFS Alsask, Sask, Canada. These men were never brought to justice. I was 16. Did you see the movie General's Daughter? My story is similar. They had me for a few days and left me for dead. My heart goes out to all vets with PTSD. Thank you for this site.
Noname
Calgary, AB canada - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 23:04:07 (EDT)
So once you realise you have this problem, how are you supposed to feel better? I feel worse everyday, and i'm starting to get desperate.
karen
USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 22:45:06 (EDT)
Struggling with ptsd....little support from anyone. i am reading everything i can about ptsd and trying to absorb it...this site has been a great help...since i am alone. diagnosed january 2002
dianne
ny USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 15:55:13 (EDT)
Thank You. I was diagnosed with post tramatic stress several years ago. I know the loneliness of this nightmare. One day at a time and one step at a time there is hope for recovery and a road to a saner life.
Paula
Louisville, Ky USA - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 21:30:48 (EDT)
I am the wife of an American Vietnam Veteran living in Canada.My husband has been diagnosed with PTSD June/01 and he is still waiting for treatment. I have just purchased your back issues of the Gazette and have read most of them and am very happy to have the information you provide. I hope my husband will someday read it. He seems to be terrified to look at any of this stuff so I don't push right now. I am just doing this for my own understanding of his mood swings, depression, irritability mostly it seems with me. This will help me not react to him and make our life together go a bit smoother. Thanks again for you knowledge and support. Ann
ANN MACRAE
LONDON, ON CANADA - Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 08:29:53 (EDT)
thank you for being here ...
tumble
USA - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 01:11:46 (EDT)
Can't find a way to express enough gratitude for your book, Recovering from the War--a lifesaver, indeed. Its hardwon lessons cast light on post-traumatic stress & its impact in other arenas, including its impact on relationships--and offers solutions that truly work (yes,before God) for couples in recovery.
MICHAEL S. BILSON
MANCHESTER, NH USA - Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 19:03:51 (EDT)
I was diagnosised with this disorder a couple of months ago and i see a theripist about it but how do i know that i am getting the help i need.....
Katie
O'Fallon, MO USA - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 11:02:59 (EDT)
Great web-site! Interesting perspective. Very encouraging, informative and accessible info. I'm wondering if you have or know of a listing of 12 step groups for people with PTSD. You're doing great work!
cw
USA - Saturday, April 13, 2002 at 13:46:01 (EDT)


Hi, so glad to see there is other people out there with PTSD! I am 49 year old woman that has injuries cause by a dentist and oral surgeon. It has been 6 years and still don't have teeth or a jaw that works. I sued and lost because I couldn't find attorney. PTSD has destroyed my life in whole. I was a professional woman, worked all my life, and now I can't get out of my house. I have three years of counseling, and still it doesn't help. It seems to be getting worse than better, but someday I am hoping that I can put this all behind me. I am hoping for a mircale to pay the $40,000 price tag for repairs to my face. I will hang in there, and say my prayers for each of you. Thanks
Judy
Centralia, WA USA - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 04:38:28 (EST)
I hope my friend Terry can be inspired by the hope of others who have written and expressed their thoughts and shared their journeys. He suffers and each time I see it in his eyes it breaks my heart. I pray that he finds the courage to get the help he needs to fight his demons.
Cassie
Gainesville, FL USA - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 16:01:57 (EST)

I am the event coordinator for the 9th Annual Salute To Vietnam Veterans. It will be an honor to hear you speak at our event on Saturday, April 13th, 2002. I will be sending this web site to my daughter in hopes that it will help her deal with 9-11. I know thoughout the years you have helped so many people. God Bless You Diane
Diane Ott
Indian Rocks Beach, FL USA - Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 22:28:04 (EST)
Patience, Just got off the phone with you. I wanted to console you about the newsletter and you ended up taking care of me. Thank you so much for all you and Bob have done for the vet community. Thank you for your kindness, compassion and understanding. peace & love ed A Co, 2/60th, 9th Inf Div 68-69
Ed Whitmarsh
Aurora, MO USA - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 12:29:57 (EST)
"WARNING" CBS plans on airing a special about the 9/11 tragedy Monday March 10th at 9pm. My husband is a Vietnam Vet who was in his PTSD group when the therapist read a note of caution from the Head of the Veterans Administration stating that no one should watch this program especially those suffering from PTSD. It went on to say that even people who do not suffer from PTSD SHOULD NOT watch this program. It is very graphic and will result in re-traumatizing.
Terri Black
Boynton Beach, FL USA - Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 11:09:07 (EST)
Hello-I just talked to you on the phone from Tenn. I am the student doing the research paper about the effects of combat in Vietnam. I read "recovering From The War" and "Chickenhawk". thank you so much, both of you, for writing such books. i have not been diagnosed with ptsd, but i have all of its components. i have a therapist and am a member of a 12 step group, sober almost 7 years, by God's grace!! i just wanted to thank you guys.
J. Williams
Murfreesboro, Tenn USA - Thursday, March 07, 2002 at 17:21:56 (EST)
Having been in treatment for severve depression and anxiety at my last appt it was brought up that i had all the symtoms of ptsd. I would perfer not to go into the circumstances here but having worked in a hospital dealing with these sort of things you would think I would be smart enough to recognize the ptsd in myself. I dont envy anyone dealing with this and it certainly has put me in my place. I welcome suggestions on how to deal with this. Its been since the begining of aug and I have only recently been able to dialogue with a therapist. I feel pretty hopeless and in the midst of people pretty alone. Take care everyone out there.
jennifer
ny USA - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 20:01:00 (EST)
While searching for a way to help my husband-vet, I found your book, Recovering from the War... While getting help myself from the Vet Center, I find myself refering back to the book over and over, it's a great guide!
Rhonda
Arvada, Co USA - Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 23:43:03 (EST)
Hi Patience it has been ages since I last visited your site but as always you have given me great support. Bill is not doing so well at the moment but i'm sure it will pass. Love to you all Bev
Bev McDowall
Bishopton, Scotland - Sunday, February 17, 2002 at 17:22:08 (EST)
I have read all the books, and I understand PTSD and my veteran. What is very frustrating is the lack of resourses available to spouses and families of the PTSD sufferer. Everyone I have contacted (veteran's organizations, the va etc) seem to agree on the fact that the family can also suffer from PTSD but the help is not available. This is a very frustrating situation.
Terri Fischer
Lakota, ND USA - Tuesday, February 12, 2002 at 16:20:08 (EST)
Hi - I'm glad I found this website. I'm starting to suffer from the syptoms, once again, for stress, anxiety, and terror. It's all starting again because of September 11th. I work at Ground Zero and I was there for the terrorist attack. For the first few months I was displaced to another office in Mid-town Manhattan, but as of January 1st I've been back at One Liberty Plaza, with a VIP view of "the pit". It's really starting to get to me. I'm starting to look for help -- a therapist, support group, something .... Thanks for the information - If anyone knows of help in New York please let me know. Thanks.
Sandy D
New York, NY USA - Sunday, February 03, 2002 at 21:19:51 (EST)
I am not dead,and no one is, it seems i should be happy but in fact iam living the worst period of my life.A private plane windshield cracked at 28000 feet,i had no doubt it was the end, but it was not. And now i have this PTSD, It is good to see that it is possible to get out, thanks for making me understand that.
HILL RODOLPHE
BUDAPEST, HUNGARY - Tuesday, January 29, 2002 at 06:52:03 (EST)
Glad to see Robert and Patience helping out. I felt so sorry for the two of them when I read Chickenhawk. Cheers and keep up the good work.
Brian Enslin
Cape Town, South Africa - Saturday, January 26, 2002 at 06:38:48 (EST)
To Tom,it's been 11 years since I returned your P.O.W bracelet to your family. Although we never met I will never forget you. Thank you for fighting, dying for our freedom.
Dee
USA - Thursday, January 24, 2002 at 17:16:34 (EST)
I recently, after 30 plus years of fighting was accepted as disabled by the VA Now I am fighting to make it possible for those of us who have PTSD,and other conditions to get faster approvals. Check my new organization out www.noavet.com called NOAVET the National ORganization of America's Veterans
Gene Besch
St. Pete Beach, FL USA - Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 10:48:31 (EST)
I am only recent to looking for information on the web regardign PTSD. I have the condition since early January, 1997 and cannot seem to get past medicine and therapy to recovery. I feel that I should be okay since my condition is a result of one totally shocking and severe beating given to me by my husband of several years and guilty for having PTSD when so many others have been so much more traumatized. I am happy to find a place to say this. No one else would have any idea what I am talking about. Do you? Thank you so much for this opportunity.
Sharon Essary
USA - Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 22:02:33 (EST)
Hi, I'm happy to see this website. I read one of your books a couple yrs. ago. I enjoyed it emensely. I laughed, i cried, i was able to finish it without wanting to put it down. Due to my own anxieties/depression etc., i find it hard to concentrate to be able to read a book cover to cover. But, for the life of me, i cannot remember the name! Good site, keep it up!! Aleta
aleta bilodeau
raymond, nh USA - Friday, January 11, 2002 at 13:35:56 (EST)
Dear Gary,
When you are counseling AO vets about PTSD you could use the premier issue as a handout. Thanks for the kind words on the web site guest book. I believe that Agent Orange is a traumatic stressor (threat to life and physical integrity) and a betrayal caused by human indifference and cruelty which makes it a more intense traumatic stressor. The fact that it is a secret threat also makes it worse. No one was warned at the time. Nor could anyone avoid exposure. Helplessness increases the intensity of a stressor. Patience
High Springs, FL USA - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 09:39:08 (EST)

Greetings Patience; You have done an outstanding job. I will buy your book my next trip to the store. I am a Vietnam Combat Vet who is 100% disabled from a combination of PTSD, Agent Orange cancer and other injuries suffered while in Nam. I also work with many Vietnam Vets suffering from PTSD . I am also the National Director of the Order of the Silver Rose http://silverrose.org/ which is a gratis medal given to AO victims or the families of deceased victims. Many of the AO Veterans are suffering from PTSD and have no idea of it. I try and council them and get them turned towards help in any way possible. Please keep your great work up. If I can assist you in your mission or assist any AO sufferers please feel free to contact me.. Gary Vietnam 67/68 The Big Red One 1st/4th Calvary
Gary Chenett
New Orleans, LA. USA - Tuesday, January 08, 2002 at 10:24:51 (EST)
Don't miss the Soldiers movie at http://www.weweresoldiersfilm.com/ coming in March 2002 to theatres everywhere.
Nice WWW site Patience. Happy New Year to you and Bob. C/229, 66 & 67
Wayne C. Nutsch
Salem, OR USA - Sunday, December 30, 2001 at 12:09:10 (EST)
Thanks for the great website and all the help over the years.We all owe you a great deal.
Skip Brown
Citra, Fl. USA - Sunday, December 30, 2001 at 05:48:42 (EST)
Patience, thank you for writing Recovering from the war. I have read it 3 times. It has helped me understand my dear friend a Vietnam vet and ptsd sufferer. I check your guest book daily. Thank you, God Bless you and yours. Debbie
Debbie
USA - Wednesday, December 26, 2001 at 21:48:07 (EST)
I've just read Chickenhawk. How is Robert today?
Nathanael Johnson
Oxford, England UK - Thursday, December 20, 2001 at 13:27:41 (EST)
i am looking for help. i have had this disorder for 30yrs or more.
judy peterson
fayetteville, nc USA - Tuesday, December 18, 2001 at 15:21:39 (EST)
I just wanted to say hi, i just re read ChickenHawk for another time and i have always wandered what happened to Mr.Mason after the end of his book. I decided to look him up and i found this site, it looks like you guys are doing alright for yourselves. I hope that you and your family continue to prosper and live a long life.
Ken Belfast, Northern Ireland - Monday, December 10, 2001 at 19:09:17 (EST)
To Patience. I absolutely love your book!!! it not only has helped me with my Fiance, but also in my work. I am a Veterans Service Officer and your book has given me alot of help when filing a claim for the vets that I help. I recommend your book to all that come into my office. again thank you very much!!!!
Laurie
Millsboro, DE USA - Thursday, December 06, 2001 at 15:50:36 (EST)
I would just like to say that i have great respect for you and your husband, what you have lived through and what you continue to do. i am only 19 but have been totally changed by reading chickenhawk and works by yourself. all the best, edward parris.
Edward Parris
eastbourne, - England - Sunday, December 02, 2001 at 12:17:10 (EST)
WE ARE BROTHERS & SISTERS TILL THE END. WE ARE A PTSD AND VET SUPPORT GROUP. MEMBERSHIP AND HELP FREE
AL FRIEDMAN
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Tuesday, November 27, 2001 at 03:41:56 (EST)
Hi, My dearly loved vet has diagnosed and found a support group to help him recover from 17 years of hell. Sadly we live far apart and so the emotional distance he has put between us by completely detaching is compounded by the fact that I have no idea how he is doing. Patience, or anyone out there, what effect could the physical distance between us have on the chances of him ever finding his way back to being able to love? I feel selfish even asking as I know he's in great pain, but being unable to communicate with him at all is overwhelming and I'm trying to find answers on how to help myself here too.
Amy
Johannesburg, South Africa - Friday, November 23, 2001 at 07:48:17 (EST)
G'DAY Prentice, i am having a look at your site, and i am amazed at the work you continue to do, even some years ago taking the time to get in contact with me personally after talking to Bill. If there is a civivie medal like the Medal of Honour you should have it as you have saved many lives like the Medics on the Battlefields and it should be recognised, many thanks & take care. Oink, tony Aussie Grunt with 7RAR (Pigs) Vietnam 70-71
tony oink blake
Mittagong, NSW Australia - Thursday, November 22, 2001 at 23:38:41 (EST)
Hi Patience, I am Jan's fiance and was looking over your web site for some information to send to my family who are having a hard time understanding and coping with my PTSD. I tried to pull up issues #1 and #2 from the home page and they could not be found. Sure hope to be able to acess them soon. The last time we were were together was at the moving wall in Souix Falls. Both Jan and I hope to see you again soon! Maybe the Vietnam Vets reunion in Mitchell in February? Jan sends her love and we all miss you in this neck of the woods.
Ed Gottschalk
Dunnell, MN USA - Sunday, November 18, 2001 at 11:35:06 (EST)
day, November 15, 2001 at 09:45:15 (EST)


I was raped and nearly strangled to death at the age of 13.Today I'm 24.I was diagnosed as suffering from ptsd 4 years after the attack.I was also exposed to somewhat gruesome secondary trauma, and was left to try to pick up the pieces on my own.Today I'm still pretty much alone, but when I read your stories I find comfort in knowing that I'm not alone afterall, thank you.And should any of you have any interest in `computer contact, please feel free to write.God bless, and never give up.
meli
switzerland - Thursday, October 25, 2001 at 08:17:05 (EDT)
I've only been to a psychologist a couple of times, but he suggested that I might have PTSD... not from a war, or an accident or sexual abuse... but from my experiences in elementary school which lead me to go home crying often enough, and then to block out all memories as soon as my parents said I could homeschool. Finding information is good. I cry a lot when I read information, but that's good.
Christy
Canada - Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 01:33:31 (EDT)
Patience, you are a jewel. I have been involved with a Vietnam vet for 4+ years, and though I have been in therapy myself for many years for my own stuff, all his issues were relatively new to me. After all this time (more than 30 years), he is now on a slow but steady road to recovery (in VA counseling, sober now -again- for two weeks, and taking antidepressants). After searching for info in Amazon, I found "Chickenhawk" and "... Back in the World." They, and now other books, have changed my whole perception of Vietnam. I was a demonstrating high school student during the war and had no understanding of what vets went through. Also, the icing on the cake of books was your book, Patience, which brought everything into focus for me. I had spent many years in Al-Anon while in a former marriage, and I found all that, and your book's gentle reminders, very helpful when I needed to depersonalize my vet's behavior and to take care of myself. Thank God you're out there, and thank you and your husband for sharing your stories with the world!!
Suzanne Dennis
Concord, CA USA - Tuesday, October 16, 2001 at 15:09:58 (EDT)
Patience: thank you for the words you have added regarding the September 11th attack on our country. Having spent this past year finally learning about PTSD (inc. having read both you and your husbands books) I was so sad to know that so many others were now going to have to deal with PTSD. I recommended a couple of your brochures to some folks who had been impacted by the events of 9/11. Of course the truth is that we have ALL been impacted. It just so happens that the Pentagon is only about 15 minutes away from my house and I visit and love Manhattan and am quite familiar with the area and buildings as are so many, many people. I indirectly knew of people who perished on that day. I think we all have been totally stunned and that is why no one has left an entry in your guest book since that day. Myself, I am now having nightmares. Of course I was having nightmares before the 11th but I am now having them more frequently again. I cannot go to sleep. Sometimes I don't even bother going to bed but I just sleep on the couch because I feel safer somehow. Like I feel more prepared to run out of the house if I need to. I was so sad at first when I kept hearing the president and others talk about going to war, having personally watched people I love suffer so very much over other wars. I thought "my God, please not another generation". And I looked at my 14 year old son and contemplated when the president said this new war was going to be a long war. I wondered if it all meant that my son would be a future draftee. I must say that so far I am pleased with how the leadership of this country has been handling this situation. At first I was so scared we were going to repeat all of the mistakes of Vietnam. I saw so many parallels. So did many of my vet friends. Of course we still have to see what will happen. I have been in contact with a number of vets since the 11th and it has brought back many memories for them. I do want to say that I was recently at a graduation for a program called the Bamboo Bridge. Vets may want to check it out at http://www.vetsbridge.org/. That program (Bamboo Bridge) can be very healing and affirming. On the night of September 11th I had the fortune of being with half a dozen (Vietnam) vets. For me, I found it comforting to know that I was not alone. Of course the temptation was to stay alone and just watch the news 24 hours a day. But it is so important for folks to reach out to one another. It is important for me to reach to others. I personally deal with PTSD from other sources of origin. The last man I dated (we split up only a week ago) and I connected because of our PTSD. Unfortunately I don't think he really wanted to let go of his woundedness. He was stuck in the problem. It is so important to live in the solution. I want to tell you that your work has been very meaningful to me. Thank you for your life mission, your vision, and your contribution to this world. For me your work is about the solution.
Renee
Reston, Va USA - Wednesday, October 03, 2001 at 17:43:46 (EDT)
Just checking to see if this is still working
Patience
USA - Sunday, September 30, 2001 at 16:58:05 (EDT)
I am a British Falklands war veteran who suffers from chronic PTSD, a few years ago I got a publication through the post from Pateince Mason about PTSD and found the web site PTSD 101 , I made some good freinds there who helped me through some black times as there was no where for Brit veterans to go and talk about PTSD, because of the encouragement of the Vietnam Veterans I put PTSD on the map here in the UK when I returned my medals to Tony Blair and I have now started a PTSD forum of my own at my web site at http://britains-smallwars.com/Mac/index.html Please visit and sign my guest book or join my chat room. I would just like to say that I offer my thoughts and prayers to the innocent people who were killed today. God Bless you. Mack.
Tony McNally
Barrow-in-Furness, Cumbria UK. - Tuesday, September 11, 2001 at 18:53:44 (EDT)
Just found your site. I didn't read anyone who suffered PTSD from having a spouse who had AIDS and being female with then a 6 mo. old, I had to be tested. I had to deal with thinking after being married for 9 yrs, how the heck could I be ok? And what about our daughter? Thank goodness I am ok and our daughter.I had to deal with waiting 3 wks for results and then feel traumatized while walking down the hall with the person who was going to break the news to me, and sit in a small room waiting to hear the results. Then watch and help my husband die. Slowly, grossly, and painfully, for three years. Yes, there were other incidents of things in childhood, of abuse, but not from family members, that contributed to my PTSD. I am glad I found your site. I hope to hear from people. Once in a support group for those negative but having a spouse or partner who were positive saved my life, I believe. So 10 yrs. later, with anxiety, nightmares still, I hope to find some support and offer some here. Thank you.
Michele
FL USA - Sunday, September 09, 2001 at 17:52:36 (EDT)


Central highlands vet69-70. I'vE had ptsd pretty bad since my return. Life has been a torment for me and an unfair and heavyburden for my wife and the boys. I've covered up what I could and tried to bury it under impossible work loads. I guess I'm the workaholic . I got hurt in a fall and hit my head. When I couldn't work I was alright for a few weeks and then My ptsd exploded on me. My drug has always been my work. The head injury is slowly improving but the ptsd has finally taken it's toll on me and my wife. I've applied to the VA and have been diagnosed with ptsd. I know now I am not going back into the workplace and am trying to manage to hang on the edge here a little longer until some help arrives. I am worried about my wife. This has put her out on the edge with me. She just can't handle much more of my topsy-turvey world. There is great info on the site. It takes a good heart to do what you've done here and alot of courage as well. Thanks.
Just Only Me
USA - Sunday, September 09, 2001 at 01:27:43 (EDT)
Excellent site. Thanks for being there for us.
David B. Mussey
El Paso, TX United States - Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 13:01:25 (EDT)
Thank you so much for this site. I was diagnosed with PTSD several months ago after I took myself to the hospital and was very near catatonic. I am 34 and have been abused since I was adopted at 6 weeks old. Raised with an alcoholic Father, Manic Depressive Monther, and adopted brother who now has been diagnosed with several mental illnesses, I was always viewed as the good one, responsible one, the hard worker. After my childhood I went out into the world and found abusive men to create a cycle of depression, numbing, and self-loathing that I almost didn't survive. I have a good therapist, and luckily I have found some very good friends for the first time in my life. After reading all of the articles listed I also found that I alienated the one man in my life who has ever been kind to me and tried to love me the way I should have been all along. I made him move out a couple of months ago. He had a hard time dealing with my illness and could not understand why I fell apart all of a sudden which made me very angry. I spent 34 years numbing my pain and horror and suddenly all of that anger surfaced and he was the nearest person to vent it on. Luckily, today we talked and he said he needed and wanted me in his life we are going to try and start over and I have to thank God for that. It is funny how all of a sudden everything is upside down for me, I can't seem to not cry, or scream, or get angry, my therapist says this is good that I am feeling emotion....maybe so but it is very scary. I guess I am rambling but thank you for giving me a forum for it. God Bless all of the survivors! We deserve it! Thank you for the information on recovery, I have been pushing to get well quick and my Therapist kept trying to slow me down. You articles make me realize that I can and will make sure that I get well.
Susan
USA - Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 02:42:39 (EDT)
After 32 years I've finally been able to start reaching out for help. I was the only survivor from my infantry squad twice and I walked point for nearly ten months until I couldn't force myself to go out in the jungle any longer. Your first two articles were God sent for both my wife and I. We've been married for 31 years. Of course, at this point we both need a great deal of healing. Thank you for sharing your journey and your insights. I realize it may be slow, but at last there's hope I can contribute more than emotional numbness, distance and anger to our marrage.
Dave Wright < none >
Grants Pass, Or USA - Saturday, September 01, 2001 at 16:08:37 (EDT)
I work with many women, children and a few men that have been traumatized. I struggle to find information to help my patients understand they are not alone and healing is possible. Thanks for having clearly wrtten, down to earth, sophisticated information that is accesible to everyone
terry j MD
USA - Wednesday, August 29, 2001 at 19:13:20 (EDT)
Thanks for caring about the soldiers, Patience. Tell your husband hello. Hope all is well with the both of you. Signed, a grunt acquaintance from Picatinny. Smiles
Rik Sheldrake
Picatinny Arsenal, NJ USA - Tuesday, August 28, 2001 at 11:02:38 (EDT)
My live-in boyfriend of 2 years is a cop who very recently killed a suspect (heroically) in the line of duty. He suddenly not only doesn't want me around - to talk to, hold him, whatever - but he told me he wants me to move out, that he wants to be alone, that it's better this way. I am floored. I want to respect him and his feelings but he and I have a life together, and we're raising a child. I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do - be there for him by leaving and doing what he wants or be there for him by staying, whether it's sleeping on the couch and not talking. He starts counseling for this soon. I am sure that he has PTSD. He isn't emotive to begin with. This is killing me.
Scared
USA - Sunday, August 26, 2001 at 07:07:08 (EDT)
A dear friend whom I've known for almost twenty years is suffering from PTSD. He's never been formally diagnosed, but I'm convinced he would be. Your cite has given me very valuable insight into the boy I knew at 18 and the man he has become. I love him dearly and want him to find peace for himself and his family. I passed your cite on to him and hope he can find his way. Thank you for having the courage to speak openly about your own personal experiences.
Cassie
Gainesville, FL USA - Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 10:58:04 (EDT)
I have been diagnosed with PTSD. AM going through therapy now. I cannot right now elaborate on what happened or how I feel, but stumbled accross this site and wanted to thank you! Planning to keep checking in time to time...who knows might be helpful. At least it can't hurt as much as the PTSD right. Maybe later on I can list my progress. Just keep up the great work your doing and to all survivors..it will get better, we have SURVIVED IT this far.
LIz
USA - Tuesday, August 21, 2001 at 15:47:50 (EDT)

Quiet time, alone with just our thoughts. The worst pain is seeing the pain in our loved ones eyes. When I think of all the hurt feelings because of the things said during a fit of rage, things that just can't be forgotten. The terror in childrens eyes. Sometimes I sit and wonder, will this ever end? Having now lost my faith in God. Wondering if there was a god, why would he let this happen to me. What did I do? I know now that it is not my fault. There has to be light at the end of the tunnel. I will make it past this. To all you doubting Thomas's out there, the ones that say PTSD is a load of crap, a cop out. Consider your self lucky you don't have this disorder.
Cam Pomeroy
Edmonton, AB, Canada - Wednesday, August 15, 2001 at 12:26:01 (EDT)
Patience, Robert... 33 years, it has been 33 years. It would seem that the terrors and horrors would have gone away by now..and they have to an extent..it would seem the nightmares would let up to some degree.... and they have somewhat ...just a little. Are we vets condemed to this Dis-ease for our lifetimes? It would seem so. Is there any relief in prayer? some.... Is there any hope when working with a counselor... more than I would have ever hoped. may I say, Ms Dr. J. B. Fletcher if you only knew how many lives you saved. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. ~hutch~
hutch
Tonasket, WA USA - Sunday, August 12, 2001 at 03:12:44 (EDT)
I am 26, at 24 left the Household Cavalry after serving Seven and a half years. The active service that I saw was in Bosnia, and through having read Chickenhawk, am fully aware that my experiences don't quite mirror Viet Nam by a long shot, but I'm sure that PTSD is a real, living thing. I am lucky as I have been able to let the Army go,and see former army friends from time to time when I need to, but I find myself talking about it alot. I also have a fairly regular difficulties in sleeping and have nightmares aswell. I drink, and smoke cannabis too, which is impairing, although I hold a good position in a good company. I don't need to use any outside assistance, I think. I've got a great partner who is all that I need. My family and friends are not aware of the things that I and my colleagues experienced and saw as I feel that in talking about it, I'm in danger of boring them, and digging up dirt in my own mind that I'd rather not. I feel for all those whos stories I'd read on this site, and elsewhere, and wish you all the best of luck. The greatest of respect to you, and shame on those narrow-minded enough to even consider that PTSD is a 'cop-out' or any other feined,or imaginary ailment.
Mat
London, Enland - Monday, July 30, 2001 at 15:38:28 (EDT)
To the Dutch woman who posted about repressed memory. Forgetting all or part of the trauma is one of seven "numbing and avoidance" symptoms in the diagnostic criteria for PTSD and has been since 1980. It is common for vets to forget terrible incidents for children to forget all kinds of abuse, not just sexual, for survivors of other disasters to forget they were there. Your shrink is a ill-educated idiot. There is a wonderful book, Betrayal Trauma, by Jennifer J. Freyd, Harvard University Press, 1996, which discusses how memories are repressed in a scientific way. You can get it through Amazon.com or maybe a used copy at bookfinder.com. One of the problems we all have it disbelief about traumatic incidents followed by "Why don't you put it behind you?" as ifthat would be easy to do . I hope you find more help. You can check at sidran.org, istss.org, atss-hq.org and tir.org for people trained in trauma work. there is also an European Society for Traumatic Stress Studies and they may have a web site (maybe a link from the ISTSS one. Hope you are looking for more help online, too. there are a lot of good sites.
Patience Mason
USA - Wednesday, July 25, 2001 at 16:04:03 (EDT)
Dear Patience Mason, Hello, I am a 21 year old girl from the Netherlands. I have just read your article about False Memory Syndrome versus Lying Perpetrator Syndrome and it made me feel better about myself. Why? Because I am one of those childeren who acused their dad of incest, but by some people is told to be a sick liar. My story short: At the age of 13 a started having nightmares about my dad doing 'it' with me. A couple of months ago I had a more complete nightmare, I was about 4. But before these nightmares I had no memory about my dad abusing me like this. Only 'little wrong things' he did. And this last nightmare filled in the blank spaces of the memories I had always had about when I was 4. But my (ex)-shrink does not believe in 'forgotten' memories and thinks I am a pseudologica fantastica (lying to get attention). When he told me this he hurted me so much.....and in the end I did not trusted any memory of myself any more (not even the ones about the day before). It started to really make me crazy. And ofcourse my dad went with him in calling me a liar. My mother (kinda difficult to keep it short)...... she is stuck in between. Fortunately I have friends (parents of a girl I knew from school) who I know for about 5 years and when I told them, they did believe me. And with your story I felt believed in that it is possible to 'forget' traumatic things and remebering them later. In my case it was after a so called trigger and mostly through nightmares. So though it may sound strange: Many thanks for your words!! Bobby
Bobby
The Netherlands - Friday, July 20, 2001 at 15:26:29 (EDT)
I just want to say how wonderful it is that you started this website. I just finished reading your husband's first book, and I was astounded that someone could survive such horrible conditions. Please tell your husband it was an amazing book, and that his wife is a great woman for the work she is doing.
Brandon Corbett
USA - Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 21:05:07 (EDT)
I have a 38 year old daughter who is incarcerated in the federal correctional institute at Dabury, Ct. She was just diagnosed with PTSD and your web site was a great help in enabling me to get this information to her so that she may begin to understand her diagnosis. She has always been in trouble, addicted to drugs and alcohol, self destructive and (subconciously, in my opinion) trying to kill herself. I recognized what she was doing was numbing the pain but I had no idea what the source of her trauma was. Several years ago her step-father (my ex husband) died and she blurted out, "Good, I'm glad he's dead." I was shocked and berated her for saying such a thing. That's when she told me she had been sexually abused by him when she was five years old. If he wasn't dead I would have killed him that day. Antoinette has been to AA, NA, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc to no avail. She was a substance abuser and, as such, no one had any motivation to delve any further into her life and/or problems and she refused to discuss them due to her embarrassment over the abuse. Her incarceration was a blessing in disguise. She is finally getting the help she needs and perhaps this will be the first step towards her permanent recovery, from the addictions and the PTSD. It may seem ridiculous to say that I'm happy that she's in prison, but I am. Had it not been for this program and her wonderful counselor who has compassion and intelligence and empathy, my daughter may have never learned what was at the root of her problems. I am grateful for your site, Patience, and I thank you for all the knowledge that I absorbed today regarding he condition. If we, as her family, are able to understand and learn we will also have the abilty to help her through this. A wonderful site!
Lorraine
USA - Friday, June 22, 2001 at 19:42:14 (EDT)

I was diagnosed with p.t.s.d 7 years ago at 25,i walked into a doctors office with a back strain and ended up telling the doctor about a incident that happened as a child,sexual abuse,though i have had a good life,marred by some black spots.a recurring dream i had was of me inside a room,like a padded cell,i was looking at it from the outside,looking down on myself,all around the room was darkness,forever,i would watch myself searching for a way out of the room and eventually resign myself to the fact that there was no way out.i haven't had that dream for awhile,and in the last 7 years have been on a recovery trail,attending alcohol and drug rehab,though every now and then i step off the path of recovery,i wish to get back on to it.I thank you for this bringing together of fellow travelers,i feel the greatest healing occurs in a community,sadly it has to occur at the worst time in our lives. how do i heal is still uncertain to me only that it will happen with continual confrontations of the events. love and light to us all.
karl
pahiatua, new zealand - Monday, June 18, 2001 at 22:50:14 (EDT)
I am very grateful for your effort to help me and other Nam Vets accept PTSD and offer help dealing with it's consequences. I was blessed and led back to this site by God and my psychiatrist Dr F Leppien. I had a copy of the Gazzette with me in jail but could not afford to subscribe. Thank you for the much needed hope that your work provides. The VA has after 30+ years tentavely validated my illness at 30% ? I am still in limbo but I would like to encourage any brothers who need help to hang on!!! If I can make 52yrs there indeed must be a loving God looking out for us!! May He Bless us ALL!
Jerry (Jay's)Barthe

was like reading my life story. I was amazed that there was a name for what my family had lived through and there were others out there just like me. Thanks so much for your info and support. Is going to be a long tunnel, but there is light at the end.
Beth Imperio
WV USA - Sunday, June 10, 2001 at 00:15:40 (EDT)

I am a British ex-serviceman (12 years Royal Marines and 8 years Royal Irish) medically discharged for ptsd relating to the Falklands war and Northern Ireland. First came across the PT Gazette whilst undergoing therapy in the British Military Hospital In Catterick, Yorkshire. Your insights are truly helpful but I didn't bother with a subscription because I thougt it would go away once I left the army. Two and a half years after discharge I am still struggling to keep my sanity but I also have a wife and a daughter who love and support me. My wife needs support so now I am subscribing. For all you wives and families of vets-please try and hang on to your loved ones: they hurt inside because they are loving,caring people and these anti-social behaviours are the result. Things can get better with love and Patience. Keith Burton
Keith Burton
Aylesford, Kent Uk - Sunday, June 03, 2001 at 20:51:22 (EDT)
Thank you for creating this site. I was feeling as if no one understands what I am going through. The psychiatrists give me pills and send me to counselors. The counselors ask me how they can help me. I have spent 30 years fighting a war of my own. Fighting to survive 20 years of abuse that many times almost killed me. I'm just now realizing that all my "craziness" is really just survival skills. I'm glad you understand that. Its nice to know I'm not crazy. I will continue to fight to survive and continue to seek real help until I find it.
Jenny
Marengo, IL USA - Friday, June 01, 2001 at 17:30:24 (EDT)
Patience - Thanks for opening this area for all of us to communicate-i honestly think that the worst part of all healing is learning that one is following a trail of tears......once you know many thousands are having the same nightsweats and flashbacks, it gets easier.. One of my many helping angels told me that "you are only as sick as your secretes" and encouraged me to open my mouth, heart, mind, by telling first in bits, and later in bits and bits and bits my story. I am a survivor of multiple family incest, and violence, and was recently bit by a DOG which caused another cascade of nightmares and horrors. It will pass. I shall be whole. And if anyone is reading this who is newly aware, or newly challanged, beleive me, many have gone before you and many will follow. make lemonade. and know that, as a survivor you are stronger for the pain, sweeter for the bitterness, and more appreciative of life than anyone who has not shared your experience. yours in light and love, darling esme
esme
ann arbor , mi USA - Tuesday, May 29, 2001 at 14:26:15 (EDT)
My husband was diagnosed with PTSD about a month ago - from a traumatic coal mining accident. As I read through the other comments I did not see any other mining accident victims. I have not found any other cases in any of the readings I have been doing. I found your writings to be so helpful. At first I felt so strong and thought I could continue to be that way until he was back to "normal". Now I realize that our family has been traumatized and that I have weakened with the changes. Your articles really touched me because I was feeling guilty for feeling the way I have been feeling. Thank you for bringing to my attention that my children and I are experiencing this and need to heal as well!
Debbie
Gilbert, WV USA - Saturday, May 26, 2001 at 18:03:18 (EDT)
Thank you so much for the information and for letting me know I am not alone in this battle. It's been 6 long frustrating years of keeping my head above water and I will still fight. It didn't take my doctor long to figure out that I suffered from PTSD. I got the best help available to me at the time and am finding that this is a long term battle that I will win!! I feel encouraged to know that I am not the only one suffering this horrible disorder, yet I get quite discouraged by people who say "get over it", or "it didn't happen" just to save themselves from reality. I come from a huge family who choose not to assist me as it triggers them. That I can understand to a point, but in the meantime I'm left with little support and understanding. I am grateful for your site. Thank you again.
Rikki Lei
North Bay, Ont Canada - Saturday, May 26, 2001 at 15:16:00 (EDT)
Almost 53 years old and just finaly dealing with PTSD thanks for youre help,reading some of your issues was like looking in a mirrow. Oh God what I must have put my family threw, not I understand why my wife left me after 25 years, I hid or tryed to hid everything from her, was never willing to share what was really wrong. But dealing with it sucks also, but it has to be done. I hid in the bottle for years, did'nt work, become a cop and hid in the risks, the dangers and being able to work most of the time, I really believe I was trying to get myself killed at times. But that did'nt work. Now am expecting the VA to cure it all thats not going to work either. Me and only me with the right help can deal with 32 years of being numb, I want to feel again, really feel. Yet am still hidding read all the words like yours and see the truth but still won'nt let go. Thanks for caring for all of us!
Steven Constine
Oconto, WI USA - Tuesday, May 15, 2001 at 19:29:33 (EDT)
my husband hs been diagnosed with p.t.s.d.as a result of his time spent in desert storm. one of the strangest responses that i heard someone react to the news of his p.t.s.d. is that ... he was only in combat less than 4 days. little minds have big mouths sometimes! i asked this person, so the woman who is raped one time, doesn't really have it...after all it was only one time! duh...it's time that people woke up and see this disease for what it really is. with the naval crew that was captured by the chinese, this is now more understood than it has been for years. my husband is still waiting on the v.a. to compensate him for his disability... over 6 months of waiting and looks like alot more to go. i am sure that the members of that flight crew wont have to wait as long. he is discriminated against at our place of federal employment, being harassed for his use of family medical leave act, and jobs are with held from him, based on this. i hope that nobody ever has to go through what each of ourloved ones go through on a daily basis. i see the anguish and panic in his eyes on a daily basis. we are suffering phsycially, mentally, and with our job being such a great place to work ,financially. good luck to all of you fellow sufferers and families. our prayers go out to blanket all of you. the only way to make people understand it to let them know everything that happens because of this disease, past the depression, past the flash backs, and let them look into our childrens'eyes and see the pain that is ever present.
Stephanie M. Lyons
Amarillo, TX United States - Wednesday, May 02, 2001 at 22:37:26 (EDT)
Just found this site. Easy to see you are just trying to help out the people w/ sound advice amd a caring heart. For the guy "A.Vet" who thinks you're fraudulent (excuse all spelling) tell him he's in deep if he runs into someone who has PTSD and his sweet self and his tour in Kansas will become a believer.
Jim
W'burg, , Va USA - Wednesday, April 18, 2001 at 13:32:40 (EDT)
51 years old and just now have been able to surrender to the realization that I have carrying a damn big sack of PTSD symptoms on my back for so many years. So many lost years, so much denial, so many lost friendships. Thank you for the work you are doing here. The internet provides an amazing opportunity for connection, education, and healing. I am keeping busy these days learning from the work and effort of so many who have taken the time to put the word out for others like myself.
Kaz
OR USA - Monday, April 16, 2001 at 18:47:33 (EDT)
I am extremely pleased to have found this site. My husband received a diagnosis of PTSD just yesterday. For anyone in Australia who would like to follow up on the 12 Step work that Patience recommends - look for a group called GROW in your area. It is a group which helps people to recover from mental illness by encouraging personal growth to maturity - but you don't necessarily have to be mentally ill to benefit.
Jan Prasolik
Hervey Bay, Qld Australia - Thursday, April 12, 2001 at 22:26:01 (EDT)
Thank you, Patience, for caring enough to send me your note about your website after reading my posting on "Gift from Within". I am a survivor of a 23 year domestic violence marriage. During one of his "up" times six years into the marriage, we had a child. She was diagnosed at 18 months with SMA, a terminal form of muscular dystrophy. So not only did I have to survive my now ex-husband's rages, I had to deal with wondering when my beautiful daughter was going to die, and if my ex would end up killing her before the disease did. In the end, he himself helped me escape. Almost 3 years ago, he tried to kill me in front of Tammie, threatened to kill her (she was 16 at the time) and threw us both out of the house with nothing but the clothes on our backs and her wheelchair. By the way, Tammie has never walked and has always used a motorized wheelchair. She was totally helpless to defend herself. We went through the horrors of pressing charges in the local court plus a trial to prove his guilt in the disolution of the marriage. The list of offenses he perpetrated on myself and Tammie before and after the divorce would take a book (I just might write one!) After Tammie almost died from pneumonia during the divorce trial, my symptoms went from being repressed to overwhelm. I luckily found a great therapist and was quickly proven to have all the symptoms of PTSD. Recovery could begin. After 2 1/2 years of work, as I read your website this morning, I still sobbed as point after point spoke directly to me. Although I experience some despair at the truth that recovery will still take a long time (I really wanted to be through with all this and be well again - but I admit that the Shakespeare quote "How poor are they that have not patience" has been my mantra for years) after reading your wonderful, insightful, and uplifting (as in "I'm not going crazy!)articles, I take a deep breath, thank God (once again) that Tammie and I survived, and will continue to work on recovery. I am still in therapy and on medication to help with the anxiety and panic attacks and depression. I have read many many many helpful books, usually twice. Dr. Aphrodite M. also wrote an extremely helpful book called "I Can't Get Over It" that also deals with PTSD. All of SARK's books are uplifting. But the biggest thing that has helped me is my recent decision to undergo Aruveydic healing. It was a once a week for seven week course of an ancient India deep massage and aromatherapy healing. It is not for everyone. You have to have an open mind and a complete willingness to heal for it to work a miracle rather than just feel like a great massage. I was finally able to rid my body of all the poison that my ex infected me with the years of abuse. I can now even more clearly work on the issues and grieve my losses, experience the pain, understand my disease, and re-learn to love myself and find my child-like innocence and sense of wonder that were stolen from me. Sorry for the length of this note, but I figured since your articles made me use an entire box of kleenix to read through, I had to write all that they brought up for me. Actually, this is the condensed version! Thanks again and I will continue to check on the community you have created to let us all know we are not alone!
Connie Groth
Livonia, MI USA - Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 09:15:37 (EDT)
Misogynon is a Twelve Step Program of recovery for women who are now in or are surviving the effects of a violent relationship. www.misogynon.com recovery@misogynon.com A pamphlet can be downloaded from the web set or email me and I will mail you one. Thanks Patience for the opportunity to share our message.
Mary Collier
San Diego, CA USA - Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 18:02:45 (EDT)
thank you Patience, I original came across your site whilst writting an essay paper on PTSD in relation to film in a subject called 'Cinema and Popular Memory' at The University of New South Wales in Sydney. I, as a result, later was able to pass on some information and show your site to a friend who has a father whom suffers from PTSD from Vietnam. I once agin return to your site for yet another paper. I return here over other sites because your site has alot of interesting information and is written in a langauge that can be understood by anybody without a medical degree. well done to you Patience, this is truely a helpfull site. (Thought you might like to know, I had some trouble finding it a second time[bookmarks were erased]. entering PTSD [or the longer written name] did not return your site. I found it at http://www.istss.org/) thanks a bunch, Rowan,
Rowan
Sydney, NSW AUSTRALIA - Wednesday, April 04, 2001 at 07:21:00 (EDT)
I've made a couple of comments in October of last year regarding my husband and the PTSD that afflicts him. Well it's been just about seven months ago since he's left and although he hasn't returned yet, I must say that things are getting better for me emotionally.At least my husband calls me from wherever he's at to check on me and although he's still confused and angry, he's expressed to me that one day he will come home when he's ready. I would like to address all the Vietnam wives who are going through a rough time right now with their veterans to just have faith and if you truly love your veteran, please hang in there, things will get a bit easier for you to cope with.Ive found that by reading Patience' book, it has really helped me understand what my husband is going through and it's even made me love him more and it's made me more sensitive to his needs.Unfortunately, he still does not want to continue therapy with the VA doctors because he feels that they're in some kind of conspiracy to kill him with drugs but at least he's been sensible enough to realize that he can't "self medicate" by drinking and using drugs. It's gotten to the point at this time that he's even more confused than he ever was and I can only hope that he comes to his senses and realize that I'm here for him and I always will be. I have to admit that it does get lonely at times and I do miss him very much but right now there is really nothing that I can do but to give him the love, understanding, and support that I have been giving him all these years. And as far as the VA, upon reading some of the comments that some of you people have made, it kind of makes me confused, too because I'm not so sure if the VA doctors can really help our vets or if they only make the situation worse.All I do know for sure is that with my love and understanding that I have for my husband,it's about the only thing that's helped him so far.If there are any wives of vets that are suffering from PTSD that would llike to contact me, please feel free to e-mail me at Preciousnfew@msn.com Good luck to all of you and I hope that things work out!
Norma
Waianae, Hi USA - Sunday, April 01, 2001 at 12:27:07 (EDT)

I am a Readjustment Counselor for the US Department of Veterans Affairs. You have written a lot of great material. Your book "Recovering from the War" is used as part of the healing process in our individual and group therapy sessions. Thank for your help!
Jennifer
Mays Landing, NJ USA - Thursday, March 29, 2001 at 20:25:03 (EST)

I am a vietnam Vet, in country 1966/1968 USAF. I was diagnosed with PTSD by civilian doctors 2nd week of May 2000. In October I was screened and the civilian diagnoses was confirmed and I was accepted into the PCT program at the VA in KY. My doctor noted that the PTSD Gazzett would be a useful for my wife to cope with this situation. I would like to note the VA is not to blame for marriage breakups. THe VA vs civilian help is much more capable of providing group and individual help as they are dealing with veterans of conbative situations. Many civilian Doctors misss diagnose PTSD for "chronic depression". Thus they do not deal with the root causes of trama circumstances experienced. Keep those "Presses Running".
Bob Brown
ky USA - Monday, March 26, 2001 at 07:37:06 (EST)
PTSD is fraudulent. The people promoting it are fraudulent. 'Repressed memories' and MPD is most certainly fraudulent. Shame on you.
A. Vet
USA - Friday, March 23, 2001 at 23:33:49 (EST)
I am 21 and I have ptsd and I am going to get married really soon and it is effecting our relationship and i am having some diffulties on it. things like this help. thanks
tiffoni
USA - Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 12:04:41 (EST)
I just want to thank you for your informative website. My husband and I have been married for 22yrs, and now we can put a name to the disorder that has taken over our lives....thanks so much....
Jan
Florence, OR USA - Monday, March 12, 2001 at 08:07:55 (EST)

Road Rage


I have what I've recently found to be "Complex PTSD". I have almost been killed 9 times in my life. I have most likely been suffering from PTSD since a car accident in 1971, in which a friend of mine was killed. I also survived a kidnapping, robbery, multiple stabbing, and severe beating by some drug addicts in 1986. I've beed disabled for 14 years. I tried going back to college, but found that I had severe learning difficulties caused by the stress of school triggering my PTSD. I'm just "getting by" now, but with the help of my psychologist/friend of 11 years, and my understanding girlfriend, I hope to somehow live a "normal" life. Good luck to all of you who suffer from this terrible disorder, and strength to all those who care about us.
Steve
Oak Hill, Ohio USA - Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 10:55:35 (EST)
My soon to be ex-husband and I have been married for 30 yrs. We were the "model" couple to all our friends. We were best friends as well as husband and wife. About three years ago we found out he has PTSD from being a combat Marine in Viet Nam. We went to counseling sessions, I supported him in every way I could. He even had other Viet vets wifes call me so I could talk to them and help them to understand what their husbands were going through. In the middle of the night when he would have his nightmares I would hug him and caress him so he could go peacefully back to sleep. Now, he says he doesn't love me any more as a wife...he loves me only as a friend. He says he doesn't feel any love from me. He says he started having these feelings about 3 yrs. ago. That's when he started going to the VA. They have given him so many drugs...and he feels they know what they are doing. I don't. He is such a good man, I'm so sorry he has put his faith into the VA doctors. He is now using military terms again, and numbing himself again. If you are going to go back to the VA for help, please do so cautiously.
KJ
VA USA - Sunday, February 25, 2001 at 19:55:33 (EST)
I just learned in the last 2 week that I'm dealiing with some form of MPD/DD or DID. for info. try .... www.sidran.org the Sidran Foundation (410) 825-8888 www.issd.org The International Society for the Study of Dissociative Disorders (847) 480-0899 www.istss.org The Society for the Study of Traumatic Stress Syndrome www.haworthpressinc.com (not sure if this address needs spaces) "Journal of Trauma and Dissociation" Haworth Press - publisher for MPD/DD or DID: must read these two!! Books By Dr, James Fiesen, PhD. can be purchased thru Windows Booksellers 150 W. Broadway Eugene, OR 97401 (800) 779-1701 WIPF Stock "Uncovering the Mystery of MPD" "More Than Survivors" good bibliography list in the back for additional resources also: E. Power and Associates (828) 396-0951 founded the MPD/DD Resource & Info. Center Elizabeth Power authored "Managing Ourselves: Building A Community of Caring" '92 Need help finding a therapist? Mungadze Association (800) 388-1838 Never give up. Therapy can help a great deal. The only absolute source of healing is from the living God who created us and knows better than anyone how we are designed, what happened to us and how to get healed. Seek Him and He will Direct your path. His guide book is the Holy Bible, and His Son's name is Jesus; the most wonderful counselor of all time,and the greatest healer and restorer of the soul (mind, will, and emotion). Sorry I don't have e-mail, leave comments here, I'll check them later. Signed, New To All This
new to all this
CO USA - Monday, February 12, 2001 at 21:51:23 (EST)
I am a student at Mills College in Oakland California. I am interested in writing a feature article on PTSD for one of my classes. I have just started researching the topic and sometime in the near future I will be looking for people who would be willing to be interviewed, people who are suffering from PTSD and the people close to them. If you think you would be interested in helping to educate people who are unaware of the far reaching effects of PTSD, please e-mail me. I would appreciate any information. Thank you very much.
Kendall
Oakland, CA USA - Monday, February 05, 2001 at 03:03:41 (EST)
I am a Canadian vet of cyprus, saudi arabia, somalia and rwanda. I have just been diagnosed recently, and am starting the long road back, thank you for the intersting links for info. If there are any other vets from canada, with similar experiences please do email me, need some one to talk to.
dave
small town, sask canada - Saturday, January 27, 2001 at 03:38:45 (EST)
I just wanted to let y'all know that I am reading Chickenhawk for the 5th or 6th time. I was in Pleiku from 68 to 69. My work carried me all over the Central Highlands and I was in a lot of the same places as Robert. His books capture the feeling of Nam better that anything I have read and I feel as if I know both of you. I sure would love to get Robert in a game of chess. I think I could take him. I have some photos of my tour at http://members3.clubphoto.com/ronnie227826 Thanks to both of you.
Ronnie Rutledge
Spartanburg, SC USA - Tuesday, January 23, 2001 at 18:13:34 (EST)
After 4 & 1/2 years of treatment for PTSD at VA Center which included therapy & medication, my Vietnam vet husband was getting worse. He is now under the care of a private psych, trying newer meds. MEDICARE pays for this. Think about it. Don't let VA therapy re-traumatize our vets.
susie
ca USA - Wednesday, January 03, 2001 at 20:52:44 (EST)

I am so thankful for this web site. I just found it this morning. I have been diagnosed with PTSD in the last month. Thank God I'm not alone. Childhood sexual and emotional abuse by parents began this journey into hell and I'm determined to come out of this a whole, funtioning, loving individual. Thank you Patience, for being there.
Mary Chris Griffin
Fuquay-Varina, NC USA - Tuesday, December 19, 2000 at 08:35:17 (EST)
I am about to be divorced again for the third and last time.I suffer from PTSD,100% SC. Its very hard for me to socialize with anyone,I have no friends,just drinking buddies. I was a Marine in Vietnam in'69-'70. I get the usual out dated,worthless drugs from the VA. I prefer to self-medicate with alcohol and mj, I know that it works for me. I get real abusive and talk nine miles of crap to her. She says I'm a manipulating control freak. I don't care if she has friends over. I have nothing in common with any of them, so I take off and get drunk, this has been my behavior since I came back from Vietnam. I have a real hard time being close to people even my wife. She says that PTSD is a cop out but I have to live with myself 24/7, I can't hardly myself, much less anyone else. I've been to inpatient PTSD programs at the VA, while I'm there I can cope pretty good being around other Vietnam vets but the minute I hit the streets I'm back to the old Dr.Jeckle and Mr.Hyde way of living. I would damn sure change if I know how. By the way, I recently joined the Military Book Club and ordered your husband's book Chickenhawk. Books about the war in Vietnam are the only things that interest me. Thank You for your time, it felt good talking to someone for a change.
Tom Ellison
Tulsa, Ok USA - Sunday, December 10, 2000 at 04:51:07 (EST)
Here's two websites I've found helpful www.twhj.com and www.survivors.org.au However sometimes stuff on the Wounded Healer Site can be triggering so I really suggest everyone starts at the introduction forum discussion.
Claire
Melborune, VIC Au - Saturday, December 09, 2000 at 08:02:18 (EST)
Patience, I almost feel as though you wrote all this just for ME. My s/o is a Marine veteran of the Gulf war. He has recently been diagnosed with PTSD and is on the long road with the VA right now. For ten years I have known that something wasn't quite right with this man but I could never put a name to it. We joked about PTSD but it finally became so evident to us both that it was NO JOKE. He needed help....badly. We have two daughters together. The first daughter was born in 1993--not too long after the war--and she was born with severe birth defects. She is totally disabled, completely dependant upon us for her care. There is no history of birth defects on either side of our families. We love our precious little girl so much, but he was devastated. Doctors found her birth defects when I was only about 20 weeks pregnant. We are doing all that we can to keep our family together....with little help from other family members.....my side of the family is really bad. It is to the point where we have very little contact with them. We may have "won" in the Gulf, but combat is combat. He turned 21 in the middle of the desert preparing to fight and maybe even die. Tell me that won't haunt you for the rest of your life. Thank you Patience...love to you and yours and thank God for folks like you. Semper Fi Jen and Gene
Jen
IN USA - Thursday, December 07, 2000 at 14:33:28 (EST)
I am a student at Green River Community College who is enrolled in a course about the History of Vietnam. After reading "Chickenhawk," and visiting this site, I wanted to tell you what a service both Patience and Bob have done for people all over the world. You are teaching people about things that are often overlooked and unspoken of.I want to tell you both that your experiences have touched my heart, and are helping others survive. Thank You Both.
Leah
WA USA - Sunday, December 03, 2000 at 14:08:42 (EST)
Just wanted to stop by your page and say hello. I found your site about 9 months ago, and things were bad (living in a camper without electricity, water, sewer, heat, phone, etc.) We are doing so much better now. We moved into a home again, and the VA we are working with has changed my husband's medication....he is actually laughing and smiling again, cracking jokes. It is amazing what good therapy, understanding listeners, and lots of valuable information can do for a family living with PTSD. This is the first Christmas in about 4 years when he has not been suicidal and for that we are very grateful. Per Patience' advice in her Gazette - I go to a wives group and to individual therapy, so that I can break myself of the habit I have of trying to fix him or reacting to what I expect his mood to be instead of reacting to HIM in that moment. Things are looking up, and I wanted to let everyone know that Patience Mason is truely a blessing and an angel to anyone who stops by here looking for some help. May God Bless all of you as He is blessing us.
Chris P.
USA - Friday, December 01, 2000 at 14:24:17 (EST)
My husband has recently been diagnosed with PTSD. His claim has not yet been accepted by the VA. He also has a host of medical problems. It is very difficult to deal with all on a day to day basis. Reading the other comments on this site has certainly made me feel less alone.
T. Fischer
Fargo, ND USA - Thursday, November 30, 2000 at 20:17:20 (EST)
interesting entries,I my self am a Nam Vet,former gunner on a uh1c gunship,read Bob's book several yearsago,,felt as if I was back in the chopper again,never thought that ptsd would be my problem WRONG!!! I have, the best way to describe it, is a never ending slide show in my mind,bits and pieces,flying thru my mind,,,can relate to all the things that are mentioned about rage anxiety,,the emmotinal numbing,,would like to add your site to my links page if you don't mind vist my site at http://community.webtv.net/DDeWitt1/DAVESPAGE thanks for your writings,from a wife's perspective..Dave DeWitt 240th Aslt Hel.Co Rvn
David DeWitt
Kokomo , Ind USA - Thursday, November 30, 2000 at 07:57:15 (EST)
This is a great site. we were just made aware of it 5 days ago. We ordered the paper for my husband and he is look forward to getting it. Thanks for your support it is much needed. Gene & Becky Delgado
Becky Delgado
Santee, ca USA - Wednesday, November 29, 2000 at 12:42:31 (EST)

Well, I have read some of your entries and myself suffer from ptsd because of child abuse (sexual). It is really sad the way that things can happen to children, but thank God I do remember one thing about the event, I said no, but was held down against my will. I needed to remember this key point so that I would not blame myself. By the way, I am a Family Nurse Practitioner and have had alot of experience with psychiatric nursing (both professionally and personally) and I feel this site is a real WINNER!
freebyrd
USA - Thursday, November 16, 2000 at 22:47:41 (EST)
you bet it's working Patience! Five years ago ,after reading first,' Chickenhawk, 'then 'Back in the world' followed by your book, I was able to figure out why my vet, the love of my life, was in so much pain. Love makes us stay, but love cannot solve the problem, only medication,and therapy can do that! Support your loved one and understand the pain your loved one is in, while on the LONG road back, ! And it is LONG ,mind you! but the end is within sight at least! I am sure if he will never totally forgive himself,nor will he forget the sights he saw,nor the pain he felt, but at least he wants to try! and you cannot start back until you face your demons, and he can at least talk about them now. (not a regular subject, but at least he can tell what happened to him) for some it is group therapy, for my guy that was not an option, (how could he sit with these guys,perfect strangers, and relate to them? He was critcal of the way they dressed, the way they acted, and the way they could bare their souls to perfect strangers!) he qualified for the Vet Centers program for returning Vietnam Vets who can only relate to a one on one situation with a therapist! (he sees a ph.d right here in our town.)he is slowly learning to trust him! Life may not be perfect, but it is certainly better! Hang in there everyone! It does get better! Karen in Ocala Florida
kAREN MULHOLLEM
)
Hi Everyone, I read a few of the comments & find them interesting. I will share a little, I grow up in very abusive home. Then i married an abusive man, & finally was stabbed and throwed into ditch for dead. I thank God tn't know how to deal with the memories. Someone please help me.
Cynthia
Lewiston, Id USA - Saturday, November 11, 2000 at 21:37:24 (EST)
Six years ago I was attacked in my home. A friend of my brother's entered my home one night and stabbed me six times. For the last few years my memory of this event was limited however, in the last 2 years I've started having flashbacks and don't quite know how to deal with them. If anyone reading this has ever experienced a similar event please get in touch with me - maybe we can help each other.
P Miller
- Thursday, November 09, 2000 at 20:54:00 (EST)
I have seen all the letters, and at last i found a place where people like me can help one another.
Frank Kristoffersen
Drammen, Norway - Monday, November 06, 2000 at 06:07:41 (EST)
Hi, Just looked over this site, it is great. I haven't read anything about anyone having an experience similar to my personal experience, so I'll share. I recently had my gallbladder removed and during the surgery, although I was paralyzed by medication, I was not sedated. I was AWAKE. This happened one week ago, and I feel like I am going nuts. I am chewing Xanax like candy and don't even know how to begin dealing with this. To top it all off, I'm an RN in the surgical ICU in the same hospital where I was operated on, and I am going to have to look these people in the eye when I return to work. All I can do is cry. Patience, keep up the good work. This site seems to be a salve on the hurting souls of many. Thanks, Kim
Kim
MS USA - Sunday, November 05, 2000 at 14:14:06 (EST)
I visit this site often for comfort and support. Married to a Vietnam combat vet. The last six months have been living hell for both of us. He was just diagnosed with PTSD by the VA 30 years after coming home. It's hard to find adjectives to describe what both of us are going through. Feel so helpless as I watch him try all the medications, therapy, in and out of the hospital five times in three months. NOTHING is helping. I'm watching this man I love so much slip farther and farther away. He is almost incapable of helping himself although is trying. I don't know it we will make it through this - have never been through anything this difficult in my life. I'm not religious but find myself praying anyway. I feel such despair. Thanks for a place to share these feelings anonymously.
ANONYMOUS
USA - Friday, November 03, 2000 at 17:30:13 (EST)
I have PTSD because I served on a murder trial this past March. I was 18-almost-19 at the time, and the trial was pretty gruesome. I was sequestered, so I only got to talk to my family for 5 minutes a day on the phone. I couldn't tell them how I was feeling, because I knew they'd worry. I've had severe headaches and stomach problems since, as well as nightmares. Every day I was there I had nightmares and threw up often. I've seen a counselor at school, but I hate rehashing it and talking about it...I just want it to go away. I'm a little afraid to walk up to my door alone at night...afraid I'll get hurt...I hate being alone at night.
Becki
USA - Monday, October 30, 2000 at 02:52:57 (EST)
I lived through two abusive marriages and am now currently attending college to get my degree to become a counselor for victims of domestic violence. I currently work in a shelter for battered women and have recently been diagnosed with secondary traumatic stress disorder by my counselor. After so many years of not understanding why I was depressed so much of the time, I have come to realize that I must also have PTSD on top of it all. I would love to talk to others that feel they are suffering also.
Jessie Hanna
Billings, MT USA - Saturday, October 28, 2000 at 22:54:49 (EDT)
Clubs for people dealing with P.T.S.D. at Yahoo http://dir.clubs.yahoo.com/Health___Wellness/Support/Post_Traumatic_Stress_Disorder__PTSD_/
Barney Deibert
Munising, mi USA - Saturday, October 28, 2000 at 12:37:39 (EDT)
I am 36 and was diagnosed with PTSD about 6 years ago although I knew that my symptoms were the same as those of Vets. Too bad that growing up in a crazy family can produce the same symptoms as being in combat. Oh, well. My life has been a TOTAL wreck and has only become livable during the last couple years with the help of a therapist. I am angry that because I appear to be physically okay, my problems are viewed to be caused by laziness. I don't want to bore you but suffice to say that we get a terrible end of the stick. The only reason I don't kill myself is that I want to glean a few good years before I die. I've done so much work and would love to see some of the rewards. Good luck to all sufferers.
Mike Goodman < >
Northampton, Mass USA - Tuesday, October 17, 2000 at 19:11:55 (EDT)
I HAVE 100% PTSD AND NEED HPOESO I WILL CHECK OUT YOUR SITE.
Donald C. Goodwin
Athens, Al USA - Monday, October 02, 2000 at 08:50:07 (EDT)
First if all, I would like to say a sincere thank you for the articles that you've written on PTSD.As a wife of a combat veteran who fought in Vietnam,it gives me great comfort and strength knowing that there is hope.I've been on the brink of having a nervous breakdown for the past month and a half since my husband took off and left.I've decided to join a support group and I feel that this will help me to understand my husband's affliction and it will help me to help him(should he decide to come back...he's run off about 6 times before but has always came back)get the therapy that he needs.He's been in therapy before which involved alot of anti-psychotic medications and they've had him so loaded at one point that he didn't trust anyone any more and stopped therapy.He's also an alcoholic,which even worsens the situation.In conclusion to my comments,I would like to say good luck to you and yours and to the many other vets,their wives and their families who in some way or another is greatly affected by this demon which we call PTSD.......And again,Thank you !!!!!
Norma H.
Waianae, Hawaii USA - Sunday, October 01, 2000 at 20:28:01 (EDT)

Hi,Finally I found something about PTSD! I'm looking looking for someone to mail with,who's also a victim of domestic violence and has ptsd. Please feel free to mail. Thanks
Nadja
England - Sunday, October 01, 2000 at 02:48:40 (EDT)
I was robbed at my place of employment on May 14, 1999 and the same robber robbed me again on May 28, 1999. I have come across much information on the net about PTSD but never any that touched and spoke to me like this site did. I am fighting workers comp as the doctor they sent me to says "Ms. Marci was not affected at all by the robberies which occured at her workplace." I have three physicians which say that I have severe PTSD and I have become almost completely agoraphobic. I am now seeing a therapist at my own expense but am so afraid to talk about what happened. It frightens me to even think about talking about it. I don't sleep but about once every four nights. Thank you for your site. Please feel free to email me.
Marci
Ovett, MS USA - Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 00:51:45 (EDT)

Thank you Patience for your mission.My husband is a Vietnam Vet, but he is not the one with PTSD. My son from a former marriage and I are suffering because of the monster that was 4F and stayed home to make our lives hell.The Gazette has been very helpful to us. I've cried many times reading it. For years I couldn't cry.
Mavis MacDowell Victorville, CA USA - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 00:38:53 (EDT)
Thank you for sharing your experiences with the world! There is so much helpful information here. I recently began reading "Recovering From The War" in an effort to help me better understand PTSD and the pain my boyfriend is going through. It is certainly not easy loving someone with PTSD. If anyone can give me more information on relationships with people suffering from PTSD it would be greatly appreciated. I want to be a positive support in his healing efforts. Thanks for the help!
K Saul
Orderville, Ut USA - Wednesday, September 13, 2000 at 20:49:38 (EDT)
my husband recommended i visit your site... have read the issues of the Gazette he has received...very informative. i hope your book arrives very soon, ooking forward to reading it. have not encountered anything like it here in UK... wives and families of PTSD sufferers need help also.Keep up the great work. Many many Thanks,
Bev. McDowall
Nr. Glasgow, Scotland - Saturday, September 09, 2000 at 11:04:20 (EDT)
Thank you for such an informative and helpful site. I am an incest survivor who was diagonsed with PTSD 5 years ago. I never really took the diagnosis seriously. I thought it was a joke, since on the outside I have functioned well. However, I am starting to understand the way PTSD affects my life and those around me. I want to heal and be happy, yet the whole process terrifies the hell out of me. I feel a deep kinship with those of you that have fought in wars. May we all learn to live together and love each other so to reduce and eliminate post-stress from our vocabulary. I wish the best of healing to all (and my-self, too). Peace.
Michelle
Worcester, MA USA - Tuesday, August 29, 2000 at 12:00:06 (EDT)
I too have PTSD,depression,panic/anxiety disorder,etc., all considered mental disabilities. My doctor(psychiatrist) has been working with me since the early 90's, but my disabilities developed at my job in the workplace due to the sexual harassment & retaliation I experienced on my job. I am a 47 years old female fighting for my job and be kept out on almost a 6 year "medical hold" by the company. I am still fighting for my job in the Courts. I just want people to know that women too can end up with PTSD from a "battle" in the workplace too! I have come to realize that PTSD can be called "the invisiable injury". So even though I am a female I certainly can relate to the Veterans that have PTSD. I have found another web-site that may be helpful to some of you, http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/PTSD/ Good Luck to you all and God Bless. CPS, c.seko@worldnet.att.net
CPS
USA - Sunday, August 20, 2000 at 22:59:56 (EDT)
I am here to say a veteran can make it with PTSD if following a structured life . . . know every moment that you have this diease/with medication (thier are alot of different choices), a veteran can make it !!! be loving, forgiving, and burying the ax; financially you can be taken care of through VA Benefits. I know, I am 100% disabled (PTSD) W/gunshot wound; and I cannot work I've tried OHHH one last thing . . . I did my own legal work. . . its not impossible, be patient when you approach this, just like it took along time in realizing something was wrong, it will take some time to fix this. With a doctors examination and military records the proof is thier. Call:805-569-9307/or Fax 1-805-569-9307/ E-mail:paralegal17@home.com
Salvador J. Estrada
Santa Barbara, CA USA - Saturday, August 12, 2000 at 13:24:02 (EDT)
I'm in the middle of a "crisis situation", I don't want to ruin the content of this page. It's been such a wonderful thing. What I would like to know, is that are ther any such web-sites or chat rooms for the wives/mothers/sisters/aunts/uncles/fathers/brothers/friends of Vietnam Vets anywhere??? I have searchd and searched. Those of us that were not a "part" of it all directly -- no matter what war or conflict it was--does anyone know where else to go? I do ala-non, CODA, etc... but is there anything else like this where I/we can talk to "live" people or post memos, or something?
Joanne H. McNamara
Ocean City, MD USA - Saturday, August 12, 2000 at 04:09:47 (EDT)
I have been learing so much about the Vietnam Vets. Someone from the 101st directed me to this site. Thank you. I am a nurse for 28 years now, and thought I understood it all. This subject is one that we didn't learn about in school. Now my significant other is starting to surface; what I mean by that is that 30 years later, he is just able to discuss some things with me. So this is a new journey for us. I want to take this time to thank all of you and especially ALL veterans of this country.
Christine
Johnston, RI USA - Friday, August 11, 2000 at 03:35:23 (EDT)
I just read the comments from VnVetwife.I can definately relate to the pain and frustration of watching someone you care so deeply about suffer so much pain. I've read Patience's book I don't know how many times. It has helped me immensely, especially since the year my husband was in Vietnam, I was just being born. I've suffered my own bit of PTSD and found certain aspects of her book helpful with my own PTSD issues. At home, I refer to "Recovering From The War" as the Bible. The anniversary of when my husbands entire crew were killed is this month and it's been hard. Thanks to Patience's Book, I am more willing and ABLE to try to be supportive without sacrificing myself, or hurting him. I found an interesting quote earlier, apparently written in pencil on the metal seat in the back of a bus in Northern Thailand many, many years ago. It read: "A man has not lived, until he has almost died. For those who have fought, life has a flavor the protected will never know." -Signed Vietnam Vet. Keep praying. Hang in there.
Joanne McNamara
Ocean City, MD USA - Thursday, August 10, 2000 at 01:51:17 (EDT)
Hello Patience Thankyou for all the help and encouragement you gave me along the way. I always look forward to reading your Gazette and take comfort from it. I am an ex-British Soldier who suffers from PTSD. and I am sure you are aware of the struggle in this country to have the condition accepted.
Bill McDowall
Scotland - Tuesday, August 08, 2000 at 03:53:04 (EDT)
Just returned from the psych hosp where my husband was admitted after telling me he was suicidal. Patience, found your website several months ago, and because of you, we FINALLY figured out what was wrong with my husband after 30 years. Had beeing doing well, going to vet center, counseling, meds, etc. but awoke at 2 am this morning with bad nightmares, crying, seeing the "faces of all I killed." So hard to see this wonderful man I love with so much guilt, anger, self-hate. I'm not a religous person, but am praying tonight that we can get through this crisis. Thanks for your site. Am sitting here at 10:19 pm reading all the feed back, somehow makes me feel better.
VnVetwife
USA - Tuesday, August 08, 2000 at 01:15:15 (EDT)
I just read under" HOPE, you did not deserve what happened to you" I feel guilty because I was told have PTSD. My WWII father has it, my VN brother has it. I understand why it is thought that they do, because of what they endured. My PTSD comes from sexual abuse starting at the age of 5. One of the five assualts involved a man with a knife when I was 16. I was also in an armed robbery when two men entered a building behind my back both holding guns, while I held my 18 month old daughter. I stay home alot, I have no friends, I'm very fearful for my children and I hate to see me pass this on to them. I feel like I'm different and if others knew why they would like me even less. I dislike crowds. My husbands family because they are loud and chaotic. I'm afraid to go out at night. Sometimes I am afraid in my own home. Poppyseed I tried counseling and have yet to find anyone that knows what they are talking abt. The last one said, "sounded like I was carrying a back pack with too many rocks in it.
Poppyseed ooo
USA - Sunday, August 06, 2000 at 13:21:44 (EDT)
I was lucky enough to have read your book back in 91' and found great comfort in realizing that I wasn't alone. It really opened up my eyes to realize what was going on with my husband, a Vietnam Veteran. I am so glad to hear that the book is back in print and plan to repurchase it since I seem to have loaned out my copies to other wives. It's a good book to have around for support. Thanks again for all your help and hard work. Great site too.
Linda
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Sunday, July 30, 2000 at 14:58:21 (EDT)
Living with a 100% disabled viet nam veteran is the hardest job in the world. I've been married 26 years to a veteran who has night mares, road rage, drug problems, and gets up in the night with guns to go out and check out side if he hears a noise. I would have left a million times except my upbring has taught us divorce is wrong. We have raised two children who have problems. I am going to read some of your books. Maybe there is hope.
Pat Stewart
AR USA - Sunday, July 30, 2000 at 00:40:40 (EDT)
Was looking for research for a fictional character with PTSD. Yours is the best site I've found, explaining not only what it is but why and how it occurs. I especially liked how you explained about the behaviors as survival adaptations rather than simple pathologies. Thanks!
"Eva Quinn"
USA - Tuesday, July 18, 2000 at 03:00:39 (EDT)
Torn-In-Time helps others to understand Combat PTSD.
Torn-In-Time < http://www.geocities.com/pa0utlaw_19438/i_did_not_die.htm >
Poem about PTSD, USA - Sunday, July 16, 2000 at 23:43:41 (EDT)
Monroe, LA USA - Sunday, July 16, 2000 at 23:39:18 (EDT)

I am the wife of a Viet Nam Veteran who has been diagnosed with PTSD. I'm on chapter 4 of Recovering From the War & have come back to purchase one of your other books. Its been hard dealing with people who don't understand PTSD in veterans. I just refer them to your site and hope that the education of others will continue. Thank you for all you have done and thank you for all that you continue to do.
M. Lopez
Austin, TX USA - Thursday, July 13, 2000 at 17:06:11 (EDT)
I am a disabled Vietnam Veteran suffering from Ptsd which was olny discovered about 4 years ago.I was hurt in a land mine accident and suffer from other medical problems. I have no family support and this site has helped a lot. Thank you for caring. Mike
George M. Farris
Bristow, Ok USA - Tuesday, July 11, 2000 at 09:56:20 (EDT)
i am a survivor of childhood abuses. ptsd has greatly impaired my life. i am a recovering addict from drugs and self mutilation. i have an online support group for oeople who are also affected by self injury. mailto:rfsm@webtv.net for more info.to join.
heather
oregon USA - Friday, July 07, 2000 at 15:55:50 (EDT)
ive been suffering from ptsd for 14years.after losing loved ones one after another to car accidents and illness,i knew something was not right with me as i became fearful of almost every thing even doctors so ihave not seeked medical help.i resently lost my son in law in a falling accident. it is so hard to return to a normal life.iam afraid of the future.please write to me if you can help.
nancy
hurricane, ut. USA - Wednesday, July 05, 2000 at 16:10:57 (EDT)
Haven't read any of your books but what you have on web is good and you come highly recommended by vetwives on the web. Just to let Australian VVwives or any other vet wives here I have started an email list up for us to get together and support and learn if our guys and us need anything different to others in other countries. http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/ptsdaussievetwives. This is not a commercial site and is a public one at present so come on in. Suzanne
Suzanne
Mackay, Qld Australia - Wednesday, June 28, 2000 at 10:37:46 (EDT)
Vietnam in 68 I felt the year was great only to realize it was the year that set my fate. I went to Nam to fight and gain But I only left a country,people a child in pain
Sam Trujillo
downey, ca USA - Tuesday, June 20, 2000 at 23:30:36 (EDT)
I KNOW THAT A LOT OF YOU GUYS WENT THROUGH SHEAR HELL IN COMBAT, I WENT THROUGH A DIFFERENT KIND OF HELL. was a basic trainee for 19 months and 15 years later I'm just now figuring out why My life has been soooo screwed up all these year. still I think about the stuff others have gone through and all I can say is "MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL!"
TRAINEE
LONG BEACH, CA USA - Saturday, June 17, 2000 at 06:09:58 (EDT)
I was diagnosed as having chronic P.T.S.D.in 1998for years I didn't realize what was going on.I've been going to the VA since 1969.Thank GOD i'm not alone and I can relate to other NAM vet's who are going through the same thing!My heart also goes out to the wives!Thank You PATIENCE for all you've done and continue to do! John
John T Terry
Edgewater, FL USA - Saturday, June 10, 2000 at 22:07:39 (EDT)
Hi Patience and Robert (and the rest of the planet)... it's been my pleasure to read Chickenhawk 3+ times, the sequel twice and of course, solo and the sequel to that. Well written books Robert (I saw you on the documentary about helo's in Vietnam). From what happened after Nam, it is easy to see why Patience has devoted the time and effort to research ptsd!
Charlie Browning cookernup, West Australia Australia - Saturday, June 10, 2000 at 06:40:24 (EDT)
I love the work you are doing. I am grateful to have found you. I would like to know if there are any groups geared more directly to the Desert Storm Vet with PTSD. My husband is service connected 60% and most of the therapy, counseling, etc., at the VA is so geared to the Vietnam vet that he says the groups tend to get defensive (you know, "my war was worse than your war, my hell more hell than your hell, my misery more miserable than your misery...). Also, I am looking for help with any VA wives groups, etc, for our generation (we have 2 small children and don't want this to affect them too terribly much...) Thanks for the help.
Chris Puschert
Davidsonville, MD USA - Friday, June 09, 2000 at 15:34:45 (EDT)


Hi Patience. I've never met you in person, but I bought ten copies of your book, and have sold (a few) or given (most of them) to friends I felt would benefit from it. I still recommend your book to anyone, man or woman, suf- fering from or living with someone suffering from PTSD. I don't think there's a better resource out there than your book, esp. for those living with a PTSD sufferer. I am creating my own web page, and I am putting your page on my Vet Links page. Have recently recommended you again to one of the members of a list I am on.
Lynn McMillen
New Tripoli, PA USA - Tuesday, June 06, 2000 at 22:29:59 (EDT)
I am a firefighter who suffers from PTSD. Your website has helped alot!
Big Jon
PA USA - Tuesday, June 06, 2000 at 09:09:31 (EDT)
Your book was a blessing. My husband suffers from PTSD even after 30 years. We've known each other for 24yrs, but just got married in 1998. I never realized what that war did to these guys. I was 18 when it ended and was never exposed to it's afteraffects until now. I vowed to find out whatever I could about PTSD and found your book in the library. I have read it and refer back to it many times. It has taught me not to be afraid and to be as much help as I can to my husband, even tho he refuses any outside help at this time. However, he has shared much with me and that is a start to healing. Keeping secrets inside will eventually kill even the strongest. I know that, as I am a recovering alcoholic who stuffed a lot inside for nearly 30 years as well. I am blessed with the strength to help him although I know eventually he will need more than what I can do. Your book opened a door of understanding for me to help him and I want to thank you for that. He's a good man that has more pain, anger and guilt inside than anyone deserves to handle alone. I have told him he is not crazy and there are many out there who suffer from the same things. I believe, tho, that each person lives their own private hell. He also lost many of his friends. These boys were so young!!!! I can never fully know what they went through. Only that I can be there for my man.
Karen W.
USA - Monday, June 05, 2000 at 12:29:04 (EDT)
Hi I was a Nurse working in psychiatry for over 17 years. I had to retier at the tender age of 37 because of PTSD which has be diagnosed by 4 different specialists. I have just had quite a bad panic attack after filling in some forms and decided to look on the web as a means of calming down. Ray From Wales UK
Ray Sullivan
UK - Thursday, June 01, 2000 at 13:29:04 (EDT)
30 odd years and 4 marragers latter I am starting to understand that some thing must be wrong. I have children up and down the East Coast of Australia, I have one son younger then my grandchildren and Ex-Wives who kept telling me some thing is wrong. I am always going flat out. Even when I'm standing still my mind will not stop. The noises and sounds keep on creating "Links" to the past, as if it was yesterday, or only a few hours ago. Smells bring flashbacks which can at times be a problem, sweating and shaking doesn't go down to well in mixed company. My current wife made me see the V.V.A. s when they were in town about 8 years ago. So now I know I am not the only one who crys and cant explain why, who breaks out in cold sweats, and gets the shakes. Doesn't like crowds, and is always looking for that some "thing." A friend told me about this page, I have visited many, so we will see. Thank You.
Ken Taylor.
Bathurst., NSW Australia. - Wednesday, May 24, 2000 at 20:44:41 (EDT)
Due to the trauma that I went through I gave birth to a son. I have just started to look for him. Has anyone else gone througth this? I am at a loss as to where to start. He was adopted illegally (I think) in the 1990's. Thanks for your help! Journey Well!
Pisces Iscariot
Australia - Tuesday, May 23, 2000 at 22:57:35 (EDT)
i just finished chickenhawk i need to know what's next
jeff
USA - Tuesday, May 23, 2000 at 03:25:35 (EDT)
Istill need a safe place to nap.Still on duty all the time even when I sleep with a light on. iam not afraid of the dark I'mm afraid of whats in the dark pow four and one half yrs
fred
leetonia, oh USA - Tuesday, May 16, 2000 at 18:01:54 (EDT)
Still have to have a safe place to sleep. Received PTSD diagnosis in 1982 from VA. Your info has helped me explain this to my girls, (grown now), keep up the good work.
Leonard E. Metzgar
Whites Creek, TN USA - Monday, May 15, 2000 at 19:43:34 (EDT)
It's nice to know that I'm not the only one out there that suffers from PTSD. It's very hard to explain all the irrational fears that I have that are connected to my past, to people that just don't get it. It doesn't seem to make any sense to them that the fear I have is very real even tho' the threat isn't there. To me it still feels very real. Anyone needing to talk can e-mail me. candace4c@hotmail.com
Candace
Seagrave, Ont Canada - Saturday, May 06, 2000 at 16:54:42 (EDT)
Thanks to the information you provide, the local vet center and my "Higher Power", who happens to be God, things are looking up!
Wife of a vietnam vet with PTSD
USA - Friday, May 05, 2000 at 22:20:06 (EDT)
Read "Chickenhawk" at this very late date (May 2000) and rank it right up there with "Ravens" and "Thud Ridge." I used to walk back (in between my nav duties) to the cargo deck of our Dover C-133A and look at the shattered plexiglas windscreens of the five shot-up Hueys we'd transport in each load from Danang back to Corpus Christi circa 1968 for remanufacturing. Bob's searing tales brought it all back...... Phil Brandt USAF (Ret.)
Phil Brandt
Austin, TX USA - Thursday, May 04, 2000 at 18:24:02 (EDT)
Thanks for your site. I am using the information for a school report - 8th grade writing class.
Joe P.
USA - Thursday, April 27, 2000 at 22:16:05 (EDT)
Can someone help?Have a friend whos husband was in NAm in 67...she feels that he may have been suffering from PTSD but it is too late to find out for sure.In 94 he killed himself after killing his 14 year old daughter.The wife is now trying to get a case together but doesnt know how to go about it..who to talk to.She said that she did speak to someone ut was told without some sort of statement from a phychiatrist that PTSD may have cuased it ahe cant do anything.Can anyone help
Teene
Dorchester, ma USA - Thursday, April 27, 2000 at 18:56:38 (EDT)
THANK YOU! I have recently been diagnosed as having "anxiety" when I thought I had a mild case lf the flu (I didn't go to work for two days). Since then I have gotten on the internet looking up anxiety and found PTSD. I was diagnosed in 1979 by a "kid" at an alcohol rehab center for it but didn't have the resources or inclination to follow up but did quit drinking for 8 years. However, I never "felt" any better and upon divorce began to drink again . I have been in AA a couple of times since then but never with any lasting results because I didn't feel any better emotionally sober than drunk and would always choose to numb myself again with alcohol again. anyway, while researching anxiety I started researching PTSD and have become convinced that my Viet Nam experiences are the root of my long standing emotional difficulties and many failures due to my emotional unstableness. So, with that I thank you for your website. I,ve read your husband's books but not yours. I quess doing that and finding some to the point help for me is next, not necessarily in that order. THANKS for being here. I haven't truly been emotionally moved in many years.
Bob Wolf Sr
Nyssa, OR USA - Monday, April 24, 2000 at 23:45:02 (EDT)
I'm so pleased to find a place where I can talk with other PTSD sufferers.
Christine Reynolds
Weston, MA USA - Thursday, April 13, 2000 at 19:42:05 (EDT)
Your book "Recovering" helped me understand just what was going on with my Vietnam vet husband of almost 20 years. He began therapy this year but seems to be slipping even deeper into depression. It is hard for me to take care of me and our very young son while watching his father drift into his own tortured world but I am making myself do it because of the wisdom you have passed along. I am making myself get out and make friends in my community. I am trying to make sure that my son doesn't think his dad's problems are because of the kind of kid he is. This is difficult to get across to a 3 1/2 year old, especially when the dad doesn't think he has any problems that are affecting his kid. Anyway, your research and writing helped me. I would recommend your books to anyone who lives with a trauma survivor. Thanks for doing this work.
Martha
USA - Wednesday, April 12, 2000 at 12:23:14 (EDT)
Hello. I've read alot of what you (and your husband) have written and have found it to be an excellent resource. My dad is 100% service-connected disabled because of PTSD, and your words have helped us a lot. Please takea look at my website, which is still basically a template, on the experiences of children of Vietnam combat veterans. I'd like to know what you think, and I'd appreciate it if you'd allow me to create a link to your page. Thanks for your important work. www.wam.umd.edu/~jcolella/cvcv/index
Jill Colella
college park, md USA - Monday, April 10, 2000 at 14:22:55 (EDT)
thank you for this site I was told about this by my dr. it help me to understand more about me and ptsd. and now i can say I have ptsd. and i need help help Thank you charles
charles peters
newport, n.c. USA - Monday, April 10, 2000 at 07:58:17 (EDT)
Came across this site after reading my copy "Chickenhawk" for a 2nd time. This site may help me understand a close mate suffering PTSD after Vietnam Service in the SAS and my own trouble from service as a paramedic and policeman. Thanks
Darren Nelson
Canberra, ACT Australia - Sunday, April 09, 2000 at 07:46:30 (EDT)
Thanks for this site. It has been most helpful. Signed- A person suffering alone with no family support. my webpage http://maxpages.com/mickel
Michael
Australia - Friday, April 07, 2000 at 16:12:11 (EDT)
Thirty-three years and I still hit the deck when a Huey flies over, car back fires, or strange noises in the night. And those nightmares do they ever go away?
Gary P Groth
Cordes Lakes, Az USA - Thursday, April 06, 2000 at 20:34:38 (EDT)
Hi Patience, I met you at the Transcend Reunion at the Brecksville VAMC in Sept. 96. I gave you a card that I did in watercolors with a poem that I wrote. The poem is posted on my web site. Please check it out as I would like your permission to ADD a LINK to Patience Press. http://homestead.juno.com/charliestrike68/index.html
Bob Airwyke
Warren,, Oh USA - Thursday, April 06, 2000 at 19:24:37 (EDT)
I am just checking to see if it works. Hope to hear your comments and questions
Patience Mason
USA - Thursday, April 06, 2000 at 11:12:50 (EDT)

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